More Tony Television

Thursday night is home to the Tony Television Network’s most popular shows, featuring America’s most beloved performers! You’ve never seen anything like these gems! Each of these hilarious, heartwarming, and groundbreaking programs is a sweet syndication deal waiting to happen!

8:00 – DIDACTIC WOMEN. Four Boston women (Swoosie Kurtz, Patricia Richardson, Julie Kavner, and Jan Hooks) discuss politics and society while they publish a feminist webzine and ogle their sexy pool boy in this thought-provoking comedy.

8:30 – THE PIRATES OF MEN’S PANTS. Four gay tailors in San Francisco (Richard Benjamin, Jay Thomas, John O’Hurley, and Thomas Hayden Church) learn valuable life lessons as they discuss current events and their dominatrix landlady (Julie Newmar) in this razor-sharp sit-com.

9:00 – THE FUNNY JEW. The hilarious hijinks of young Avram Goldfarb (Liev Schreiber) as he tries to balance his job at New York Bank with the demands of his zany friend Jerzy Krinklestein (French Stewart) and his pawn-shop owner father Herschel (Jerry Stiller) and his matchmaking mother Anna (Anne Meara).

9:30 – EACHIT & DYE. Al Eachit (David Schramm) is a bottom-feeding ambulance-chaser who’ll do anything for money. His new partner, Yul Dye (Dennis Dugan) is a disgraced ethics specialist. Sparks fly when their identical-twin wives convince them to work together.

10:00 – DRAMA CENTER. A flamboyant “has-been” actor (Walter Koenig) teams up with a hard-nosed probation officer (Gerald McRaney) to help a group of troubled inner-city teens deal with their problems through the magic of theater. In the pilot, they save an abandoned movie palace from demolition, which then serves as their headquarters.

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Browsing Through Hell said...

Okay, finally some serious competition offered by Tony TV. I can see that Thursday will be a hotly contested battleground between your offerings and the incomprable primetime fare being served at BTH TV ( ) So let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?

Didactic Women - You've got an all-star cast and a clever concept here going up against veteran stand-up Bobby Slayton and the writers of "Boss Man" over at BTH TV. This one's a toss up. Valium-addicted housewives and lesbians in the Blue States will definitely tune in to see Swoosie & Co. However, I'm betting there are more beer-drinking misogynists in the Red States at home on Thursday night than your target audience. 8PM goes to "Boss Man." Sorry.

The Pirates ... - I have to be honest. Your gay tailors win every time up against 24-7, my restaurant workplace sit-com over at BTH TV. I doff my hat to you, sir.

The Funny Jew - This is a real battleground timeslot on Thursday night. Whichever show the majority of Americans choose here will determine who wins Thursday night. I have to call it a toss-up until I see more audience response.

Eachit & Dye - Did you check my schedule yet, compadre. Your up against Scott Valentine here. Yes, you heard me right. Scott F--ING Valentine, playing a has-been heavy-metal-head stocking shelves on third shift at MegaMart. Once again, SCOTT VALENTINE. You have a great show title here, but we're talking Scott Valentine. Your only hope is that Funny Jew beats out Duke and you get the lead-in momentum. Otherwise, Eachit & Die will literally eat shi .. you get the picture.

Drama Center - I'm banking on the fact that more people will tune in to see a taut medical drama with REAL SYMPATHETIC characters (BTH TV's DWB) than a bunch of whiny, self-indulgent, artsy fartsy Fame re-treads. Put Howard Hessman in this and you can call it Head of the Class revisited.

Tony said...

Once again, that programming wannabe BTH presumes to compare my TV triumphs with his risible dreck. "Didactic Women," "The Pirates of Men's Pants," and "The Funny Jew" will take America by storm before moving on to conquer the BBC as well. Whatever sad pantomimes he stages will be swept away without mercy.

As for his rant suggesting there is any interest in watching Scott Valentine perform, I have only two words for Mr. BTH: DENNIS DUGAN.

Audiences are so sick of "taut medical dramas" that only a fool would suggest that a ground-breaking stroke of brilliance like "Drama Center" has anything to fear on that score. How many "taut medical dramas" failed miserably last season? I lost count.

Nice try, BTH, but, as ever, no banana.