Great New TV Spin-Offs

Seeing the phenomenal success of spin-offs like AfterM*A*S*H* and Archie Bunker’s Place, I’ve come up with four can’t-miss shows for next season, bringing back some of America’s favorite characters and examining their lives following the end of their previous series. Each one is a guaranteed ratings-winner!

AfterHomicide – Yaphet Kotto, Daniel Baldwin, and Jon Polito star in this half-hour situation comedy as three ghostly cops who have taken to haunting a Baltimore pub run by retired detective and conspiracy buff John Munch (Richard Belzer). In the first episode, the ghosts decide to help an annoying drunk (played by Barry Levinson) who won’t stop complaining about his washed-up career as a movie director.

The Misadventures of Sheriff Autolycus – Bruce Campbell reprises his famous role as the former Prince of Thieves, now the Sheriff of the Stygian Steppes, in this swashbuckling sword-and-sorcery adventure comedy. Ted Raimi co-stars as his loyal Deputy Joxer, and the late Madeline Kahn also appears as the mysteriously goofy Oracle of Lesbos, thanks to the magic of digital effects.

The X-Briefs – David Duchovny returns as Fox Mulder, who has found a new career as a trial lawyer in order to bring justice to the victims of paranormal phenomena. In the pilot episode, Mulder and his law partner Walter Skinner (Mitch Pileggi) file a class-action suit against the government on behalf of the victims of alien abduction. Special appearance by Gillian Anderson as Mulder’s expert witness, Dr. Dana Scully, and Mimi Rogers as Mulder’s pesky ex-wife, Diana.

Chateau Picard – Patrick Stewart stars as the headstrong French vintner and Starfleet vet Jean-Luc Picard in this comedy/drama set in the late 24th century. With Geneviève Bujold as his love interest, Madame du Clairmont, and Vanessa Paradis as the extradimensional entity known as Mademoiselle Sphynx, who strives to understand human emotions and behavior. In the premiere episode, Picard attempts to stage a production of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, but ends up having to play all the roles himself.

Look for these sure-fire hits next season on the Tony Television Network!!!


Browsing Through Hell said...

I notice none of this flotsam and jetsem has been relegated to the schedule at TONY TV. Honestly, I don't know what words best describe these conceptual crimes against humanity. Horrific? Putrid? Unconscionable? Inhuman? I am lesser man just for having read these pitches.

Tony said...

Once again, the bizarre crank BTH proves that he doesn't know GOLD wheh he sees it. No wonder his so-called network is such a barren craggy wilderness of no fun!