No self-respecting television network would be without the occasional TV movie, and nobody has more self-respect than the Tony Television Network! Thus, we present the first in a series of special two-hour features that we’ll schedule whenever we feel our viewers deserve a wonderful gift! Can you spell star-studded major TV event?
THE GREAT BIRD OF THE GALAXY
Greg Grunberg stars as Gene Roddenberry in this humorous bio-pic detailing his dauntless efforts to launch the Star Trek television series in the mid-1960s. Aided and abetted by his ambitious personal assistant Dorothy Fontana (Moira Kelly) and the eager young intern Morris Chapnick (Adam Brody), Roddenberry must navigate the byzantine world of Hollywood production companies and major TV networks, relying on the expertise of two industry insiders, Herb Solow (Peter MacNicol) and Bob Justman (Jeffrey Nordling).
With the help of sympathetic studio executive Oscar Katz (Saul Rubinek), Roddenberry gets the go-ahead to produce a pilot. He quickly assembles a zany design staff, including Pato Guzman (John Leguizamo), Matt Jefferies (Tom Verica), and William Ware Theiss (Patrick Dempsey), whose irrepressible personalities keep Roddenberry on his toes.
Things only get crazier as Roddenberry hires actors and must deal with their eccentricities, including Leonard Nimoy (Wes Bentley), Susan Oliver (Elisha Cuthbert), and his difficult star Jeffrey Hunter (special appearance by Ray Liotta). To top it off, Roddenberry falls in love with one of his leading ladies, Majel Barrett (Juliet Landau).
When the troubled pilot is rejected by the network for being “too cerebral,” Roddenberry and his team scramble to get a second chance, reworking their approach to the material and hiring new actors, teaming Nimoy with Gary Lockwood (Ashton Kutcher), Sally Kellerman (Mischa Barton) and new star Bill Shatner (Shane West).
All involved then sweat out the final decision of the network, to see if they will get their chance to make television history.
TTN – Where No Television Network Has Gone Before!!!
Previous: Tony Television Scores Big!
Next: Tony Television Special # 2
Friday
The Passion of Stan Lee
It has been in the news the last few days that Stan Lee won a judgment in a legal battle with Marvel Enterprises, Inc. over money. According to the terms of his contract, he was to receive ten percent of any profits Marvel made by licensing the characters he co-created for movies, merchandise, and the like. Marvel had tried to get away with just not paying, and even now plans to appeal the verdict.
Ever since Marvel became a big company, starting around the time they went public in the late 1980s, they have been lambasted for their often shameful business practices. But whatever the company has become, nothing can change what it once was—a small, dedicated staff cranking out the best product they could manage under the circumstances. And in the mid-1960s they were riding the crest of a wave of popularity that they earned by working hard at something they enjoyed and believing in what they were doing.
In the June 1966 issues, Stan Lee ran an editorial on their “Bullpen Bulletins” page that, despite his normally bombastic style, was unusually passionate in both its attack on low-rent comics publishers and in its statement of his company’s philosophy. Some excerpts:
“In a nutshell, the situation is this: As you know, Marvel has spent years trying to upgrade the art of comic magazines—for an art it truly is, every bit as much as the cinema, the legitimate stage, or any other form of creative expression. We don’t resent competition—indeed, we welcome it. But we DO resent shabby, carelessly-produced, badly-written and –drawn, conscienceless IMITATIONS of our Marvel mags—imitations which are callously lacking in quality, and which are produced for the sole purpose of making a fast profit in the very field which they themselves are helping to keep at the bottom of the artistic totem pole!”
After further complaints about the competition, he concludes:
“And this is our promise to you—no matter what befalls, no matter how rocky the road ahead may be, your staff here at the Marvel bullpen will never compromise with quality! Our stories, our art, our lettering, and our coloring will always be the best that money can obtain—the finest that dedicated craftsmen can produce! Though the newsstands grow ever more cluttered with inferior imitations, the mighty Marvel magazines will still stand out like shining beacons, guiding you to the finest in reading entertainment! That is our promise, our pledge, our credo! You’ve made us what we are today—you deserve nothing less! ‘Nuff said!”
Stan was a master of hucksterism, but the tone of the editorial convinces one that this time he really meant it. Unfortunately, by the 1990s, Marvel was guilty of all the things Stan had once railed against, and to this day the company seems dedicated to “the sole purpose of making a fast profit” at the expense of the fans. Quality is a subjective evaluation, but the slick comics of today fail to inspire the same passion and loyalty—not to mention circulation figures—that the somewhat more crude “Silver Age” product engendered during Stan Lee’s heyday.
In those days, Marvel was a company, not a corporation. And that’s the Marvel Comics I’m a fan of.
Ever since Marvel became a big company, starting around the time they went public in the late 1980s, they have been lambasted for their often shameful business practices. But whatever the company has become, nothing can change what it once was—a small, dedicated staff cranking out the best product they could manage under the circumstances. And in the mid-1960s they were riding the crest of a wave of popularity that they earned by working hard at something they enjoyed and believing in what they were doing.
In the June 1966 issues, Stan Lee ran an editorial on their “Bullpen Bulletins” page that, despite his normally bombastic style, was unusually passionate in both its attack on low-rent comics publishers and in its statement of his company’s philosophy. Some excerpts:
“In a nutshell, the situation is this: As you know, Marvel has spent years trying to upgrade the art of comic magazines—for an art it truly is, every bit as much as the cinema, the legitimate stage, or any other form of creative expression. We don’t resent competition—indeed, we welcome it. But we DO resent shabby, carelessly-produced, badly-written and –drawn, conscienceless IMITATIONS of our Marvel mags—imitations which are callously lacking in quality, and which are produced for the sole purpose of making a fast profit in the very field which they themselves are helping to keep at the bottom of the artistic totem pole!”
After further complaints about the competition, he concludes:
“And this is our promise to you—no matter what befalls, no matter how rocky the road ahead may be, your staff here at the Marvel bullpen will never compromise with quality! Our stories, our art, our lettering, and our coloring will always be the best that money can obtain—the finest that dedicated craftsmen can produce! Though the newsstands grow ever more cluttered with inferior imitations, the mighty Marvel magazines will still stand out like shining beacons, guiding you to the finest in reading entertainment! That is our promise, our pledge, our credo! You’ve made us what we are today—you deserve nothing less! ‘Nuff said!”
Stan was a master of hucksterism, but the tone of the editorial convinces one that this time he really meant it. Unfortunately, by the 1990s, Marvel was guilty of all the things Stan had once railed against, and to this day the company seems dedicated to “the sole purpose of making a fast profit” at the expense of the fans. Quality is a subjective evaluation, but the slick comics of today fail to inspire the same passion and loyalty—not to mention circulation figures—that the somewhat more crude “Silver Age” product engendered during Stan Lee’s heyday.
In those days, Marvel was a company, not a corporation. And that’s the Marvel Comics I’m a fan of.
Thursday
Tony Television Scores Big
Monday night has long been considered a lost cause for any TV network unable to slake America’s relentless thirst for football. That is about to change, however, as the Tony Television Network at last unveils its Monday masterpieces! In the ratings war, we play to win, and nothing that lives, breathes, or moves can resist the sexiest, most scintillating, unforgettably sensational shows that TTN has to offer! Prepare for a night of life-changing television entertainment!
8:00 – THERE’S ONE IN EVERY FAMILY. RuPaul Charles stars as Sasha, a flamboyant Black homosexual transvestite who moves in with his button-down half-brother Sam (Martin Donovan) and his lilywhite suburban family. Will Sam’s prim churchgoing wife Margot (Jessica Steen) be tempted by Sasha’s fabulous wardrobe? Will Sam’s mother Gwen (Barbara Barrie) come out of the closet and admit she’s a liberal? Will cable-news-junkie Uncle Ralph (Steve Landesberg) ever feel comfortable again? Will high-school-age daughter Nan (Rachel Skarsten) and ‘tween son Ronny (Cameron Bright) learn valuable life lessons from Sasha each and every week? Tune in to this hilarious life-affirming comedy and find out!
8:30 – SPACE HAREM. In this sexy sci-fi romp, Tia Carrere plays Jixy, the smart and sassy head of an intergalactic sultan’s outer-space harem. Cavorting, conniving, and cat-fighting is the order of the day as Jixy rules her roost. Featuring Lisa Jakub as the mercurial youngest member, Solara; Michele Lintel as a sizzling Saturnian named Mazzy; Joy Bryant as the Venusian vixen Tora; Eva Mendes as the nubile Neptunian Osha; Paige Peterson as Temptra of Planet X; and Rubén Blades as Sultan Zandak the Magnificent. In the premiere episode, the girls conspire with the befuddled vizier Nuff (Max Gail) and the harem’s no-nonsense guard Zolt (Ron Canada) to meet the visiting Queen of the Galaxy (special guest Julie Strain).
9:00 – SAYONARA YAKUZA. Thrill to the explosive exploits of Mei, a beautiful ninja assassin, played by Tamlyn Tomita, who tries to flee her life of crime by moving to Seattle. Unfortunately, the cold-hearted crime boss Mr. Honda (George Takei) won’t let her go, and sends his father-daughter hit squad (Ken Watanabe and Chiaki Kuriyama) to track her down and kill her. While trying to protect herself and her gruff, elderly father (Sonny Chiba), Mei falls in love with a brash martial arts instructor, Jeff (Jason Scott Lee) and befriends his older sister Pam (Rosalind Chao). Things go from bad to worse when Mei’s frequent battles with a bounty hunter called Spades (Regina King) attracts the attention of a dogged police detective (Brian Wimmer) and his harried supervisor (Peter Gerety). There’s action galore in this high-energy drama!
10:00 – BIZARRE FANTASY. The year is 1952 and Katie, a struggling young actress played by Alison Lohman, becomes involved in the kinky world of the small-time fetish magazine Bizarre Fantasy, run by the disreputable Irwin Clodhopper (Pruitt Taylor Vince) and his harridan mother Glynis (Cloris Leachman). Befriending two of the other models, the streetwise Amanda (Tiffany Shepis) and the withdrawn Sally (Heather McComb), Katie tries to navigate the bewildering universe she has stumbled into. Featuring Maury Chaykin as chief photographer Elwyn Clodhopper; Elina Löwensohn as Tasha, the magazine’s imperious production manager and bondage expert; Michael Dorn as the sympathetic maintenance man Paul; Natasha Gregson Wagner as the strung-out model Madeline; Stacy Haiduk as Katie’s nemesis, the magazine’s sharp-tongued top model Betty Sue; Bo Svenson as nightclub owner Gareth Swain, Katie’s “guardian angel;” and Masuimi Max as the mysterious model known only as Mojo.
The Tony Television Network – Resistance is Useless!!!
Previous: Tony Television Triumphs!
8:00 – THERE’S ONE IN EVERY FAMILY. RuPaul Charles stars as Sasha, a flamboyant Black homosexual transvestite who moves in with his button-down half-brother Sam (Martin Donovan) and his lilywhite suburban family. Will Sam’s prim churchgoing wife Margot (Jessica Steen) be tempted by Sasha’s fabulous wardrobe? Will Sam’s mother Gwen (Barbara Barrie) come out of the closet and admit she’s a liberal? Will cable-news-junkie Uncle Ralph (Steve Landesberg) ever feel comfortable again? Will high-school-age daughter Nan (Rachel Skarsten) and ‘tween son Ronny (Cameron Bright) learn valuable life lessons from Sasha each and every week? Tune in to this hilarious life-affirming comedy and find out!
8:30 – SPACE HAREM. In this sexy sci-fi romp, Tia Carrere plays Jixy, the smart and sassy head of an intergalactic sultan’s outer-space harem. Cavorting, conniving, and cat-fighting is the order of the day as Jixy rules her roost. Featuring Lisa Jakub as the mercurial youngest member, Solara; Michele Lintel as a sizzling Saturnian named Mazzy; Joy Bryant as the Venusian vixen Tora; Eva Mendes as the nubile Neptunian Osha; Paige Peterson as Temptra of Planet X; and Rubén Blades as Sultan Zandak the Magnificent. In the premiere episode, the girls conspire with the befuddled vizier Nuff (Max Gail) and the harem’s no-nonsense guard Zolt (Ron Canada) to meet the visiting Queen of the Galaxy (special guest Julie Strain).
9:00 – SAYONARA YAKUZA. Thrill to the explosive exploits of Mei, a beautiful ninja assassin, played by Tamlyn Tomita, who tries to flee her life of crime by moving to Seattle. Unfortunately, the cold-hearted crime boss Mr. Honda (George Takei) won’t let her go, and sends his father-daughter hit squad (Ken Watanabe and Chiaki Kuriyama) to track her down and kill her. While trying to protect herself and her gruff, elderly father (Sonny Chiba), Mei falls in love with a brash martial arts instructor, Jeff (Jason Scott Lee) and befriends his older sister Pam (Rosalind Chao). Things go from bad to worse when Mei’s frequent battles with a bounty hunter called Spades (Regina King) attracts the attention of a dogged police detective (Brian Wimmer) and his harried supervisor (Peter Gerety). There’s action galore in this high-energy drama!
10:00 – BIZARRE FANTASY. The year is 1952 and Katie, a struggling young actress played by Alison Lohman, becomes involved in the kinky world of the small-time fetish magazine Bizarre Fantasy, run by the disreputable Irwin Clodhopper (Pruitt Taylor Vince) and his harridan mother Glynis (Cloris Leachman). Befriending two of the other models, the streetwise Amanda (Tiffany Shepis) and the withdrawn Sally (Heather McComb), Katie tries to navigate the bewildering universe she has stumbled into. Featuring Maury Chaykin as chief photographer Elwyn Clodhopper; Elina Löwensohn as Tasha, the magazine’s imperious production manager and bondage expert; Michael Dorn as the sympathetic maintenance man Paul; Natasha Gregson Wagner as the strung-out model Madeline; Stacy Haiduk as Katie’s nemesis, the magazine’s sharp-tongued top model Betty Sue; Bo Svenson as nightclub owner Gareth Swain, Katie’s “guardian angel;” and Masuimi Max as the mysterious model known only as Mojo.
The Tony Television Network – Resistance is Useless!!!
Previous: Tony Television Triumphs!
Next: Tony Television Special # 1
Tuesday
The Doctor's Companions
From 1963 until 1989, the BBC science fiction series Doctor Who featured the exciting exploits of the alien time-traveler known as the Doctor, who usually had one or more traveling companions to share in his adventures. Most came from Earth, either from the past, the present, or the future, and were often whisked off through time and space without so much as a by-your-leave. They all eventually parted company with the Doctor, through various circumstances, which leaves a question worth considering:
Did the Doctor’s traveling companions make it back to their proper place and time?
Susan Foreman: No. The Doctor’s original companion, she left their home planet of Gallifrey with him and later adopted the name “Susan Foreman” during an extended stay on 20th-century Earth. Susan and the Doctor parted company after stopping a Dalek invasion of 22nd-century Earth, where she remained to marry the human resistance fighter David Campbell.
Ian Chesterton & Barbara Wright: Yes. Schoolteachers Ian and Barbara were able use an abandoned Dalek time machine to return home to London, England. However, they arrived a full two years after having gone off aboard the TARDIS, and would have quite a bit of explaining to do. Close enough.
Vicki: No. The hapless orphan known only as Vicki remained behind after the Doctor and company witnessed the end of the Trojan War. She was clearly headed for trouble, though, for she had adopted the name “Cressida” and fallen in love with the Trojan warrior Troilus. At least she will never be forgotten.
Katarina: No. The simple-minded Trojan slave girl died when she was taken hostage by a desperate criminal. To prevent the criminal from hijacking the spaceship they were on, Katarina opened an airlock door, sweeping both her and her captor into the vacuum of space.
Sara Kingdom: No. Sexy Space Security Agent Sara Kingdom was rapidly aged to death when she was caught in the warp field of the Dalek’s Time Destructor device. In seconds, her bones crumbled to dust and blew away on the wind.
Steven Taylor: No. This former astronaut left the TARDIS crew when he was asked to become the leader of a group of technologically-advanced “Elders” and primitive “Savages” from an unnamed planet, to help the two groups finally learn to live together as equals.
Dodo Chaplet: Yes. The sprightly Cockney girl had a whirlwind tour with the Doctor, but slipped off home when the TARDIS happened to return to 1960s London. Her life seemed to be ruled by coincidences.
Polly Wright & Ben Jackson: Yes. The swinging dolly-bird and the able seaman came in together, and later went out together when they realized the TARDIS had returned to the very same day on which they had left. The opportunity to resume their regular lives without interruption was too good to pass up.
Victoria Waterfield: No. Orphaned by the Daleks in her native Victorian era, this teenaged girl found a new home with Frank and Maggie Harris at the North Sea Gas Refinery some hundred years later.
Jamie McCrimmon: Yes. After numerous adventures with the Doctor, Jamie was returned to his point of departure in 18th-century Scotland by the Time Lord Tribunal, who also erased his memories of his time aboard the TARDIS.
Zoe Heriot: Yes. Twenty-first century girl Zoe Heriot was also returned to her point of departure, an orbiting space station, by the Time Lord Tribunal, with no memory of her adventures with the Doctor.
Dr. Elizabeth Shaw: Yes. Distinguished as the only companion never to leave Earth, Liz Shaw worked with the Doctor during his exile, when the TARDIS was non-operational. After a while, she became bored acting as the Doctor’s lab assistant and left her post at U.N.I.T. to return to her research at Cambridge University.
Jo Grant: Yes. Jo made only a few trips aboard the TARDIS after the Doctor’s exile was remanded, but then resigned from U.N.I.T. in order to marry the ecologist Clifford Jones and accompany him on an expedition to the Amazon rainforest.
Harry Sullivan: Yes. After assisting U.N.I.T. in defeating the Zygon menace in Scotland, Harry wisely chose to return to London with the Brigadier’s men, rather than taking the “shortcut” offered by the Doctor.
Sarah Jane Smith: Yes. When the Doctor received an urgent summons to return to Gallifrey, he determined he must proceed alone, and attempted to drop Sarah Jane off near her home in Croydon, but actually left her in the wrong city. Close enough.
Leela: No. The savage warrior found an unlikely new home on the Doctor’s home planet of Gallifrey, when she fell in love with Andred, commander of the Chancellery Guard.
Romana: No. Inspired by the Doctor’s example, the “Time Lady” Romana elected to remain in the extradimensional universe of E-Space to build her own time machine and help free the Tharil race from slavery.
Adric: No. After accompanying the Doctor out of his native E-Space, Adric sacrificed himself to save his friends from the merciless Cybermen, becoming trapped on a space freighter as it crashed into prehistoric Earth, wiping out the dinosaurs as well.
Nyssa: No. Her home planet of Traken destroyed by the Master, Nyssa eventually found a higher calling, choosing to remain on the space station Terminus to help cure the unfortunates suffering from Lazar’s disease.
Tegan Jovanka: Yes. Tegan actually parted company with the Doctor twice. The first time, she was accidentally left behind at Heathrow Airport when the TARDIS dematerialized, and she went on with her life. A while later, she ran into the Doctor again and continued her travels with him until she became sickened by the carnage wrought during a battle with the Daleks in mid-1980s London. Tearfully, she said goodbye to the Doctor and fled the scene.
Vislor Turlough: Yes. Escaping his own exile on Earth aboard the TARDIS, the Trion-born Turlough was eventually reunited with his people on the doomed planet Sarn, where he learned that Trion’s political prisoners had all been released during the time he was traveling with the Doctor. He returned to his home planet a free man.
Peri Brown: No. The luckless American girl Peri Brown was abandoned on the planet Thoros-Beta when the Doctor was seized by the Time Lords to be brought to trial. She was last seen in the company of the bellicose King Yrcanos of Krontep, who was intent on marrying her.
Melanie Bush: No. Mel hooked up with the intergalactic highwayman Sabalom Glitz and joined the crew of his new ship, Nosferatu II. Apparently, life with the Doctor was not exciting enough for this perky redhead.
“Ace”: Unknown. Although “Ace” was at home in Perivale at the conclusion of the final episode, she and the Doctor were heading back to the TARDIS to continue their travels.
It’s about evenly split between those who did and those who did not return to their proper place and time: 13 yes, 12 no, and 1 unknown. Some ended up better off than they were, some ended up dead, and many were left to uncertain fates. After all, as Doctor Who consistently showed, it is a vast and dangerous universe.
The story of many of the Doctor’s companions, particularly that of “Ace,” were continued in the various novels, audio recordings, and other spin-offs, all of which I consider to be non-canonical. The above is based, therefore, solely on the episodes of the original television series.
Next: Continuity Notes
Did the Doctor’s traveling companions make it back to their proper place and time?
Susan Foreman: No. The Doctor’s original companion, she left their home planet of Gallifrey with him and later adopted the name “Susan Foreman” during an extended stay on 20th-century Earth. Susan and the Doctor parted company after stopping a Dalek invasion of 22nd-century Earth, where she remained to marry the human resistance fighter David Campbell.
Ian Chesterton & Barbara Wright: Yes. Schoolteachers Ian and Barbara were able use an abandoned Dalek time machine to return home to London, England. However, they arrived a full two years after having gone off aboard the TARDIS, and would have quite a bit of explaining to do. Close enough.
Vicki: No. The hapless orphan known only as Vicki remained behind after the Doctor and company witnessed the end of the Trojan War. She was clearly headed for trouble, though, for she had adopted the name “Cressida” and fallen in love with the Trojan warrior Troilus. At least she will never be forgotten.
Katarina: No. The simple-minded Trojan slave girl died when she was taken hostage by a desperate criminal. To prevent the criminal from hijacking the spaceship they were on, Katarina opened an airlock door, sweeping both her and her captor into the vacuum of space.
Sara Kingdom: No. Sexy Space Security Agent Sara Kingdom was rapidly aged to death when she was caught in the warp field of the Dalek’s Time Destructor device. In seconds, her bones crumbled to dust and blew away on the wind.
Steven Taylor: No. This former astronaut left the TARDIS crew when he was asked to become the leader of a group of technologically-advanced “Elders” and primitive “Savages” from an unnamed planet, to help the two groups finally learn to live together as equals.
Dodo Chaplet: Yes. The sprightly Cockney girl had a whirlwind tour with the Doctor, but slipped off home when the TARDIS happened to return to 1960s London. Her life seemed to be ruled by coincidences.
Polly Wright & Ben Jackson: Yes. The swinging dolly-bird and the able seaman came in together, and later went out together when they realized the TARDIS had returned to the very same day on which they had left. The opportunity to resume their regular lives without interruption was too good to pass up.
Victoria Waterfield: No. Orphaned by the Daleks in her native Victorian era, this teenaged girl found a new home with Frank and Maggie Harris at the North Sea Gas Refinery some hundred years later.
Jamie McCrimmon: Yes. After numerous adventures with the Doctor, Jamie was returned to his point of departure in 18th-century Scotland by the Time Lord Tribunal, who also erased his memories of his time aboard the TARDIS.
Zoe Heriot: Yes. Twenty-first century girl Zoe Heriot was also returned to her point of departure, an orbiting space station, by the Time Lord Tribunal, with no memory of her adventures with the Doctor.
Dr. Elizabeth Shaw: Yes. Distinguished as the only companion never to leave Earth, Liz Shaw worked with the Doctor during his exile, when the TARDIS was non-operational. After a while, she became bored acting as the Doctor’s lab assistant and left her post at U.N.I.T. to return to her research at Cambridge University.
Jo Grant: Yes. Jo made only a few trips aboard the TARDIS after the Doctor’s exile was remanded, but then resigned from U.N.I.T. in order to marry the ecologist Clifford Jones and accompany him on an expedition to the Amazon rainforest.
Harry Sullivan: Yes. After assisting U.N.I.T. in defeating the Zygon menace in Scotland, Harry wisely chose to return to London with the Brigadier’s men, rather than taking the “shortcut” offered by the Doctor.
Sarah Jane Smith: Yes. When the Doctor received an urgent summons to return to Gallifrey, he determined he must proceed alone, and attempted to drop Sarah Jane off near her home in Croydon, but actually left her in the wrong city. Close enough.
Leela: No. The savage warrior found an unlikely new home on the Doctor’s home planet of Gallifrey, when she fell in love with Andred, commander of the Chancellery Guard.
Romana: No. Inspired by the Doctor’s example, the “Time Lady” Romana elected to remain in the extradimensional universe of E-Space to build her own time machine and help free the Tharil race from slavery.
Adric: No. After accompanying the Doctor out of his native E-Space, Adric sacrificed himself to save his friends from the merciless Cybermen, becoming trapped on a space freighter as it crashed into prehistoric Earth, wiping out the dinosaurs as well.
Nyssa: No. Her home planet of Traken destroyed by the Master, Nyssa eventually found a higher calling, choosing to remain on the space station Terminus to help cure the unfortunates suffering from Lazar’s disease.
Tegan Jovanka: Yes. Tegan actually parted company with the Doctor twice. The first time, she was accidentally left behind at Heathrow Airport when the TARDIS dematerialized, and she went on with her life. A while later, she ran into the Doctor again and continued her travels with him until she became sickened by the carnage wrought during a battle with the Daleks in mid-1980s London. Tearfully, she said goodbye to the Doctor and fled the scene.
Vislor Turlough: Yes. Escaping his own exile on Earth aboard the TARDIS, the Trion-born Turlough was eventually reunited with his people on the doomed planet Sarn, where he learned that Trion’s political prisoners had all been released during the time he was traveling with the Doctor. He returned to his home planet a free man.
Peri Brown: No. The luckless American girl Peri Brown was abandoned on the planet Thoros-Beta when the Doctor was seized by the Time Lords to be brought to trial. She was last seen in the company of the bellicose King Yrcanos of Krontep, who was intent on marrying her.
Melanie Bush: No. Mel hooked up with the intergalactic highwayman Sabalom Glitz and joined the crew of his new ship, Nosferatu II. Apparently, life with the Doctor was not exciting enough for this perky redhead.
“Ace”: Unknown. Although “Ace” was at home in Perivale at the conclusion of the final episode, she and the Doctor were heading back to the TARDIS to continue their travels.
It’s about evenly split between those who did and those who did not return to their proper place and time: 13 yes, 12 no, and 1 unknown. Some ended up better off than they were, some ended up dead, and many were left to uncertain fates. After all, as Doctor Who consistently showed, it is a vast and dangerous universe.
The story of many of the Doctor’s companions, particularly that of “Ace,” were continued in the various novels, audio recordings, and other spin-offs, all of which I consider to be non-canonical. The above is based, therefore, solely on the episodes of the original television series.
Next: Continuity Notes
Friday
Tony Television Triumphs
Nobody does it better than the Tony Television Network –- as our triumphant Tuesday night schedule proves beyond a reasonable doubt! Four all-new, all-different, can’t-be-missed shows that will change the face of entertainment for all time! Comedy, action, excitement, and drama await you every Tuesday night on TTN! You’ll kill yourself if you miss it!
8:00 -- RECIPE FOR DISASTER. Robert Wuhl stars as Julian Cooke, the host of a TV cooking show whose hilariously disastrous private life contrasts with his sophisticated on-air persona. Co-starring Steve Guttenberg as his long-suffering producer/director and best friend Jared Bigelow. The pair is frequently harried by Cooke’s elegant wife Cecilia (Kim Myers) and her hell-raising sister Greer (Lolita Davidovich), as well as their bumbling production manager Alfie (Brent Hinkley). Rounding out the crackerjack cast are Dana Ashbrook and Daphne Ashbrook as Cooke’s bickering newlywed neighbors, the Prescotts.
8:30 -- SAME OLD KRAPP. In this knee-slapping comedy, Ray Wise stars as crusty antiques dealer Ed Krapp, whose quest for peace and quiet is continually derailed by his wife Claire (Jane Krakowski), a psychic who gets uproarious “readings” from the items in their shop, as well as by his persnickety chief buyer Hugh Huffley (Christian Clemenson) and his philosophical, ever-present plumber Ernie (Ernie Hudson). In the premiere, Krapp’s attempt to take a mid-afternoon nap is frustrated when Claire “reads” a disco ball that once belonged to Huffley’s high-school sweetheart and threatens to reveal embarrassing details about his past.
9:00 -- RELUCTANT HERO. Neil Patrick Harris plays Adam Arkon, a mild-mannered philosophy professor who discovers he is a genetically-engineered superman when his creator, Dr. Isaac Weaver (Hector Elizondo), escapes from a scientific-research-slave-labor-camp run by evil extraterrestrials. The cruel alien leaders, Xotran (Michael Ironside) and Krylla (Frances Fisher), have unleashed their army of shape-shifting clones to conquer the earth, and only Adam’s superhuman skills can find them and stop them. But can he leave behind his beautiful wife Ellie (Jennifer Blanc), his adoptive father Joseph (John Savage), and his life in academia? No, and that’s where the excitement begins! Co-starring Richard Beymer as the chair of Adam’s philosophy department and Wes Studi as his merciless nemesis Zoktorr the Mercenary.
10:00 -- SAND TRAPS. In this exciting drama, Valarie Rae Miller plays Janet Sand, an ATF agent who goes undercover as a golf pro at an exclusive golf course run by mobster Frank Fellini, played by David Marciano. As Agent Sand tries to get the goods on Fellini without blowing her cover, she must deal with the mobster’s scheming wife Felicia (Callie Thorne), his chief enforcer “Steel-Eyes” Stryker (Jeff Kober) and suspicious rival golf pro Teddy Buckley (Tim Ryan). Her life is further complicated by her terminally-ill sister Georgia (Lisa Nicole Carson) and a dangerous love affair with local police detective Ben Warfield (James Marshall).
The Tony Television Network –- Ask For It By Name!!!
Previous: Tony Television Strikes Back!
Next: Tony Television Scores Big!
8:00 -- RECIPE FOR DISASTER. Robert Wuhl stars as Julian Cooke, the host of a TV cooking show whose hilariously disastrous private life contrasts with his sophisticated on-air persona. Co-starring Steve Guttenberg as his long-suffering producer/director and best friend Jared Bigelow. The pair is frequently harried by Cooke’s elegant wife Cecilia (Kim Myers) and her hell-raising sister Greer (Lolita Davidovich), as well as their bumbling production manager Alfie (Brent Hinkley). Rounding out the crackerjack cast are Dana Ashbrook and Daphne Ashbrook as Cooke’s bickering newlywed neighbors, the Prescotts.
8:30 -- SAME OLD KRAPP. In this knee-slapping comedy, Ray Wise stars as crusty antiques dealer Ed Krapp, whose quest for peace and quiet is continually derailed by his wife Claire (Jane Krakowski), a psychic who gets uproarious “readings” from the items in their shop, as well as by his persnickety chief buyer Hugh Huffley (Christian Clemenson) and his philosophical, ever-present plumber Ernie (Ernie Hudson). In the premiere, Krapp’s attempt to take a mid-afternoon nap is frustrated when Claire “reads” a disco ball that once belonged to Huffley’s high-school sweetheart and threatens to reveal embarrassing details about his past.
9:00 -- RELUCTANT HERO. Neil Patrick Harris plays Adam Arkon, a mild-mannered philosophy professor who discovers he is a genetically-engineered superman when his creator, Dr. Isaac Weaver (Hector Elizondo), escapes from a scientific-research-slave-labor-camp run by evil extraterrestrials. The cruel alien leaders, Xotran (Michael Ironside) and Krylla (Frances Fisher), have unleashed their army of shape-shifting clones to conquer the earth, and only Adam’s superhuman skills can find them and stop them. But can he leave behind his beautiful wife Ellie (Jennifer Blanc), his adoptive father Joseph (John Savage), and his life in academia? No, and that’s where the excitement begins! Co-starring Richard Beymer as the chair of Adam’s philosophy department and Wes Studi as his merciless nemesis Zoktorr the Mercenary.
10:00 -- SAND TRAPS. In this exciting drama, Valarie Rae Miller plays Janet Sand, an ATF agent who goes undercover as a golf pro at an exclusive golf course run by mobster Frank Fellini, played by David Marciano. As Agent Sand tries to get the goods on Fellini without blowing her cover, she must deal with the mobster’s scheming wife Felicia (Callie Thorne), his chief enforcer “Steel-Eyes” Stryker (Jeff Kober) and suspicious rival golf pro Teddy Buckley (Tim Ryan). Her life is further complicated by her terminally-ill sister Georgia (Lisa Nicole Carson) and a dangerous love affair with local police detective Ben Warfield (James Marshall).
The Tony Television Network –- Ask For It By Name!!!
Previous: Tony Television Strikes Back!
Next: Tony Television Scores Big!
Tuesday
The TARDIS Owner's Manual
One of the most indelible images from the BBC’s long-running science fiction series Doctor Who was the quirky time machine in which the Doctor and his companions traveled the cosmos, which he called the TARDIS. Its exterior was disguised as a battered blue Police Call Box, a familiar sight on London streetcorners when the show debuted in 1963. Its interior, on the other hand, was a sprawling, labyrinthine complex of futuristic design. Thanks to the wonders of “transdimensional engineering,” the ship was, in fact, larger on the inside than on the outside; one of the show’s many mind-bending concepts.
“Tardis,” actually the Latin word for “slow,” from whence we get the word “tardy,” was said to be an acronym for “Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.” The Doctor’s first traveling companion, the girl known only as Susan, claimed to have made up the name from this phrase, which would suggest that only the Doctor’s ship is called “TARDIS.” However, later writers used the term to apply to all Time Lord ships, which were officially referred to as “time capsules.” I prefer to maintain the original intent, and consider TARDIS the name of the Doctor’s ship, comparable to Enterprise, Nimitz, or Titanic.
A wealth of technical information was revealed about the ship during the 26 seasons the show was on the air, and I have gathered much of this information into what might be taken as excerpts from the TARDIS owner’s manual:
The Type 40 is a self-contained research station designed for surveillance and information-gathering on alien civilisations throughout space-time. It is a transdimensionally-engineered hypercubic vehicle powered by artron energy surrounded by an all-but-indestructible shell and containing a vast complex to provide both comfort and support to the Time Lord researcher on an extended mission.
The exterior of the Type 40 consists of the three-dimensional shell topped by the Local Orientation Visualiser. The exterior can be disguised by the chameleon circuit, which is governed by the visual stabiliser unit. The transdimensional interface hatch is protected by a complex trimonic locking device, which also contains a key-operated pause-control feature, with which the operator can send the ship on to its preset coördinates without actually going inside.
The transdimensional interface hatch is linked to the main console room, but can be rerouted to the secondary control room if necessary. Additionally within the interior of the Type 40 are living quarters with food processing units, storage compartments large and small, workshops, sickbay, Zero room, indoor gardens and cloister room, swimming pool complex, holographic art gallery, and laboratory facilities, all connected by a series of corridors that provide easy access to the ship’s systems. The interior is governed by the ship’s architectural configuration system, and areas can be quickly located with the architectural configuration indicators.
The Type 40 operates through a symbiotic link with its Time Lord operator. The link is established with a component called the briode-nebuliser, which must be primed prior to operation. It is also patched into the molecular stabilisation system.
With the symbiotic link established, the Type 40’s telepathic circuits conform the patterns of the ship’s artron energy supplies with the artron energies present in the Time Lord brain. Thereby the operation of the Type 40 is influenced by the personality, imagination, and mood of its operator. A predisposition for a certain place and time on the part of the operator will cause the ship to favor that place and time in its own operational protocols. The symbiosis is made possible by the ship’s non-verbal artificial intelligence. The artron energy is used to power the ship’s hyperspace movements. The basic power supply for the ship’s systems is provided by the dynamorphic generator and moderated through the mercury fluid links.
The Type 40 contains a psionic beam communication system keyed into the ship’s telepathic circuits, regulated by the signal conversion unit. One feature of the system is that it constantly monitors and receives distress calls. The emergency transceiver allows for remote control operation from Gallifrey in the event of a crisis situation. The ship is also equipped with a “cloister bell” onboard warning system. Other safety features include: portable homing devices should the crew become separated from the ship; and in the event of a total power failure, the main door can be cranked open manually. Should the ship come under attack, the Hostile Action Displacement System can be activated, which will cause the ship to make slight adjustments in its spatial position to avoid the effects of alien weaponry. This puts a tremendous strain on the ship’s systems, however, and should only be used in the gravest emergencies. Should the Type 40 be in danger of destruction during transit, the interphasic failsafe will automatically seek out and lock onto the nearest spacecraft. The ship is also capable of generating a gravity tractor beam.
Transit is initiated by the relative dimension stabiliser (RDS), which produces the distinctive noise heard outside the ship as the exterior shifts into hyperspace. The RDS works in concert with the dematerialisation circuit. The relative continuum stabiliser (RCS) monitors the ship’s movement through time, oriented by the K-zero differential, as artron energy is fed into the trachoid time crystal. Be sure to avoid symbolic resonance in the crystal or rematerialisation will be effectively impossible! For smooth rematerialisations, be sure the multi-loop stabiliser (MLS) is engaged. The Type 40 utilises automated landing protocols to prevent rematerialisation problems.
Navigation is controlled primarily through the space-time coordinate programmer (SCP) and the time vector generator (TVG). Important components in the navigation system include the temporal drift compensators (TDC) and the lateral balance cones (LBC). The helmic regulator monitors the ship’s progress, and the synchronic feedback checking circuit should ensure a smooth journey. The Type 40 is also equipped with a movable astral map unit located in the main console room.
During his many adventures, the Doctor often needed to make modifications to the TARDIS, since he wasn’t actually using it for the purpose for which it was designed. Wandering around the universe helping people out of jams was the furthest thing from the Time Lords’ minds when they created their fleet of time capsules. But the Doctor is something of a renegade, and so the beleaguered TARDIS has had to adapt to a more rough-and-tumble existence. Some examples:
Soon after leaving Gallifrey, the Doctor assembled and installed a “time path detector” to monitor any other time machines following the same route, as he and Susan were fugitives from the authorities. Originally intended to allow them to stay one step ahead of the Time Lords, the device later came in quite handy when the evil Daleks pursued the Doctor in a time machine of their own invention.
During the Doctor’s long exile to Earth, the Time Lords had blocked from his mind the knowledge he needed to operate the TARDIS. Undaunted, the Doctor continued to experiment, attempting to escape his imprisonment. The ship was almost completely stripped down during this period, and we learned that even minor temporal effects require energy levels on the order of a nuclear power plant.
The Type 40 is equipped with a recall circuit which can pull the ship back to Gallifrey, although this component has been used only 3 times in all Time Lord history. The Time Lords found it necessary to use this method of last resort when they came under attack for the second time by Omega, one of the Time Lords’ “founding fathers,” as it were, who was trapped in an anti-matter universe. We can assume that more criminally-minded renegade Time Lords, such as the so-called Meddling Monk, the Master, and the Rani, found ways to disable this feature on their own time capsules.
The Doctor has had to jettison one-quarter of the TARDIS interior and also lost three-quarters of the remaining storage holds, the former in a desperate attempt to escape destruction and the latter purely by accident. It is clear that the Doctor has collected various odds and ends, clothing, and furniture throughout his travels, but we have no way of knowing what may have been lost during these mishaps.
Certainly additional information about the TARDIS has been offered in the various novelizations, audio programs, comic books, and TV and theatrical movies based on the show, all of which I consider non-canonical. Therefore, the above is based solely on the episodes of the original television series.
Next: The Doctor’s Companions
“Tardis,” actually the Latin word for “slow,” from whence we get the word “tardy,” was said to be an acronym for “Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.” The Doctor’s first traveling companion, the girl known only as Susan, claimed to have made up the name from this phrase, which would suggest that only the Doctor’s ship is called “TARDIS.” However, later writers used the term to apply to all Time Lord ships, which were officially referred to as “time capsules.” I prefer to maintain the original intent, and consider TARDIS the name of the Doctor’s ship, comparable to Enterprise, Nimitz, or Titanic.
A wealth of technical information was revealed about the ship during the 26 seasons the show was on the air, and I have gathered much of this information into what might be taken as excerpts from the TARDIS owner’s manual:
TYPE 40 TIME CAPSULE
TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSIONS IN SPACE
TIME AND RELATIVE DIMENSIONS IN SPACE
The Type 40 is a self-contained research station designed for surveillance and information-gathering on alien civilisations throughout space-time. It is a transdimensionally-engineered hypercubic vehicle powered by artron energy surrounded by an all-but-indestructible shell and containing a vast complex to provide both comfort and support to the Time Lord researcher on an extended mission.
The exterior of the Type 40 consists of the three-dimensional shell topped by the Local Orientation Visualiser. The exterior can be disguised by the chameleon circuit, which is governed by the visual stabiliser unit. The transdimensional interface hatch is protected by a complex trimonic locking device, which also contains a key-operated pause-control feature, with which the operator can send the ship on to its preset coördinates without actually going inside.
The transdimensional interface hatch is linked to the main console room, but can be rerouted to the secondary control room if necessary. Additionally within the interior of the Type 40 are living quarters with food processing units, storage compartments large and small, workshops, sickbay, Zero room, indoor gardens and cloister room, swimming pool complex, holographic art gallery, and laboratory facilities, all connected by a series of corridors that provide easy access to the ship’s systems. The interior is governed by the ship’s architectural configuration system, and areas can be quickly located with the architectural configuration indicators.
The Type 40 operates through a symbiotic link with its Time Lord operator. The link is established with a component called the briode-nebuliser, which must be primed prior to operation. It is also patched into the molecular stabilisation system.
With the symbiotic link established, the Type 40’s telepathic circuits conform the patterns of the ship’s artron energy supplies with the artron energies present in the Time Lord brain. Thereby the operation of the Type 40 is influenced by the personality, imagination, and mood of its operator. A predisposition for a certain place and time on the part of the operator will cause the ship to favor that place and time in its own operational protocols. The symbiosis is made possible by the ship’s non-verbal artificial intelligence. The artron energy is used to power the ship’s hyperspace movements. The basic power supply for the ship’s systems is provided by the dynamorphic generator and moderated through the mercury fluid links.
The Type 40 contains a psionic beam communication system keyed into the ship’s telepathic circuits, regulated by the signal conversion unit. One feature of the system is that it constantly monitors and receives distress calls. The emergency transceiver allows for remote control operation from Gallifrey in the event of a crisis situation. The ship is also equipped with a “cloister bell” onboard warning system. Other safety features include: portable homing devices should the crew become separated from the ship; and in the event of a total power failure, the main door can be cranked open manually. Should the ship come under attack, the Hostile Action Displacement System can be activated, which will cause the ship to make slight adjustments in its spatial position to avoid the effects of alien weaponry. This puts a tremendous strain on the ship’s systems, however, and should only be used in the gravest emergencies. Should the Type 40 be in danger of destruction during transit, the interphasic failsafe will automatically seek out and lock onto the nearest spacecraft. The ship is also capable of generating a gravity tractor beam.
Transit is initiated by the relative dimension stabiliser (RDS), which produces the distinctive noise heard outside the ship as the exterior shifts into hyperspace. The RDS works in concert with the dematerialisation circuit. The relative continuum stabiliser (RCS) monitors the ship’s movement through time, oriented by the K-zero differential, as artron energy is fed into the trachoid time crystal. Be sure to avoid symbolic resonance in the crystal or rematerialisation will be effectively impossible! For smooth rematerialisations, be sure the multi-loop stabiliser (MLS) is engaged. The Type 40 utilises automated landing protocols to prevent rematerialisation problems.
Navigation is controlled primarily through the space-time coordinate programmer (SCP) and the time vector generator (TVG). Important components in the navigation system include the temporal drift compensators (TDC) and the lateral balance cones (LBC). The helmic regulator monitors the ship’s progress, and the synchronic feedback checking circuit should ensure a smooth journey. The Type 40 is also equipped with a movable astral map unit located in the main console room.
* * *
During his many adventures, the Doctor often needed to make modifications to the TARDIS, since he wasn’t actually using it for the purpose for which it was designed. Wandering around the universe helping people out of jams was the furthest thing from the Time Lords’ minds when they created their fleet of time capsules. But the Doctor is something of a renegade, and so the beleaguered TARDIS has had to adapt to a more rough-and-tumble existence. Some examples:
Soon after leaving Gallifrey, the Doctor assembled and installed a “time path detector” to monitor any other time machines following the same route, as he and Susan were fugitives from the authorities. Originally intended to allow them to stay one step ahead of the Time Lords, the device later came in quite handy when the evil Daleks pursued the Doctor in a time machine of their own invention.
During the Doctor’s long exile to Earth, the Time Lords had blocked from his mind the knowledge he needed to operate the TARDIS. Undaunted, the Doctor continued to experiment, attempting to escape his imprisonment. The ship was almost completely stripped down during this period, and we learned that even minor temporal effects require energy levels on the order of a nuclear power plant.
The Type 40 is equipped with a recall circuit which can pull the ship back to Gallifrey, although this component has been used only 3 times in all Time Lord history. The Time Lords found it necessary to use this method of last resort when they came under attack for the second time by Omega, one of the Time Lords’ “founding fathers,” as it were, who was trapped in an anti-matter universe. We can assume that more criminally-minded renegade Time Lords, such as the so-called Meddling Monk, the Master, and the Rani, found ways to disable this feature on their own time capsules.
The Doctor has had to jettison one-quarter of the TARDIS interior and also lost three-quarters of the remaining storage holds, the former in a desperate attempt to escape destruction and the latter purely by accident. It is clear that the Doctor has collected various odds and ends, clothing, and furniture throughout his travels, but we have no way of knowing what may have been lost during these mishaps.
Certainly additional information about the TARDIS has been offered in the various novelizations, audio programs, comic books, and TV and theatrical movies based on the show, all of which I consider non-canonical. Therefore, the above is based solely on the episodes of the original television series.
Next: The Doctor’s Companions
Monday
Tony Television Strikes Back
The greatest shows on Earth are not under the Big Top, they’re right here on the Tony Television Network! Wednesday nights serve up something for everyone with just the right mix of comedy, action, and drama in four shows the like of which the world has never seen! Stars galore and simply unbeatable concepts spell a night of television paradise! Don’t miss a single minute!
8:00 – RED-HEADED STEPCHILD. A heart-warming laugh-riot in which Daryl Sabara stars as Benjy, a precocious troublemaker who must make a big adjustment when his widowed mom, played by Gillian Anderson, marries a Hollywood studio executive (Lee Tergesen) and he must move in with his “perfect” new siblings, Sean (Nick Carter) and Sarah (Carly Schroeder). In the pilot, Benjy inadvertently brings disaster to his new family’s high-society pool party. Featuring a special appearance by Danny Bonaduce as Benjy’s deceased dad.
8:30 – OBJECTION SUSTAINED. Jeff Altman stars as the world’s worst lawyer, Clyde Daihatsu, in this side-splitting comedy set in Hoboken. With Eamonn Walker as his long-suffering law partner Percy Blue and Jena Malone as Clyde’s on-again-off-again girlfriend Sissy Turkel. In the premiere episode, Clyde faces his greatest challenge when he is called to defend his Japanese half-sisters, played by former Pink Lady stars Keiko Kuwaki and Mitsuyo Tsukuda, from a sausage-smuggling racket.
9:00 – SUBPOENA! Follow the thrilling adventures of a corps of process servers as they tackle big city crime and corruption in this high-energy legal drama. Starring Seth Green as dauntless Mitch Madison and Clarence Williams III as Judge Jefferson J. Adams. Also featuring Jennifer Lien as Mitch’s partner Gretchen Kane, Jeff Phillips as her brother Carlson Kane, Lil’ Romeo as streetwise Capital-T, Esai Morales as computer-whiz Hector Escobar, Jamie Elman as soft-spoken Steve Raysor, Peter Berg as their boss Alan Westfield, and Tiffani Thiessen as rival process server Holly McClain. In the first installment, Mitch and his team must overcome formidable obstacles to serve papers to a corrupt Congressman (Ed Begley, Jr.) before time runs out.
10:00 – NOAA WEATHER RADIO. Kyle Secor leads a powerhouse cast in this gripping drama about the heroic meteorologists who keep our coastal cities safe. Set in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, the show follows the trials and travails, both personal and professional, of Mark Billings (Secor); his co-workers sagacious Arnold Blaze (Graham Greene), hot-tempered Dan O’Leary (Colm Meany), and brainy Julietta Norris (Tracy Scoggins); his no-nonsense boss Jerry Berry (Charles Martin Smith); and his fortune-teller ex-wife Magdalena (Cyndi Lauper).
The Tony Television Network – Accept No Substitutes!!!
Previous: Tony Television Gets Real
Next: Tony Television Triumphs
8:00 – RED-HEADED STEPCHILD. A heart-warming laugh-riot in which Daryl Sabara stars as Benjy, a precocious troublemaker who must make a big adjustment when his widowed mom, played by Gillian Anderson, marries a Hollywood studio executive (Lee Tergesen) and he must move in with his “perfect” new siblings, Sean (Nick Carter) and Sarah (Carly Schroeder). In the pilot, Benjy inadvertently brings disaster to his new family’s high-society pool party. Featuring a special appearance by Danny Bonaduce as Benjy’s deceased dad.
8:30 – OBJECTION SUSTAINED. Jeff Altman stars as the world’s worst lawyer, Clyde Daihatsu, in this side-splitting comedy set in Hoboken. With Eamonn Walker as his long-suffering law partner Percy Blue and Jena Malone as Clyde’s on-again-off-again girlfriend Sissy Turkel. In the premiere episode, Clyde faces his greatest challenge when he is called to defend his Japanese half-sisters, played by former Pink Lady stars Keiko Kuwaki and Mitsuyo Tsukuda, from a sausage-smuggling racket.
9:00 – SUBPOENA! Follow the thrilling adventures of a corps of process servers as they tackle big city crime and corruption in this high-energy legal drama. Starring Seth Green as dauntless Mitch Madison and Clarence Williams III as Judge Jefferson J. Adams. Also featuring Jennifer Lien as Mitch’s partner Gretchen Kane, Jeff Phillips as her brother Carlson Kane, Lil’ Romeo as streetwise Capital-T, Esai Morales as computer-whiz Hector Escobar, Jamie Elman as soft-spoken Steve Raysor, Peter Berg as their boss Alan Westfield, and Tiffani Thiessen as rival process server Holly McClain. In the first installment, Mitch and his team must overcome formidable obstacles to serve papers to a corrupt Congressman (Ed Begley, Jr.) before time runs out.
10:00 – NOAA WEATHER RADIO. Kyle Secor leads a powerhouse cast in this gripping drama about the heroic meteorologists who keep our coastal cities safe. Set in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, the show follows the trials and travails, both personal and professional, of Mark Billings (Secor); his co-workers sagacious Arnold Blaze (Graham Greene), hot-tempered Dan O’Leary (Colm Meany), and brainy Julietta Norris (Tracy Scoggins); his no-nonsense boss Jerry Berry (Charles Martin Smith); and his fortune-teller ex-wife Magdalena (Cyndi Lauper).
The Tony Television Network – Accept No Substitutes!!!
Previous: Tony Television Gets Real
Next: Tony Television Triumphs
Tuesday
A Brief History of the Master
Throughout the 26 seasons of Doctor Who shown on the BBC between 1963 and 1989, the Doctor faced many fearsome foes, but his most implacable nemesis was undoubtedly the Master. Introduced during the eighth season in 1971, the Master was another renegade time-traveler from the Doctor’s own race, but unlike the Doctor, he journeyed through time and space seeking personal power. The two Time Lords would cross swords repeatedly through the rest of the series’ run. Since the character was used in so many stories by so many different writers, he developed a rich and complex continuity, which I have here attempted to lay out in a simple, straightforward narrative. In doing so, the links between the Master’s various appearances become much clearer, and many of his behind-the-scenes activities stand revealed.
I do not consider any of the numerous Doctor Who novels to be canonical, nor do I accept any film or television versions not originally shown on the BBC or not made as part of the original series production schedule. Therefore, this history is based purely on the episodes of the original television series.
Any conflicting accounts of the history of the Master are therefore non-canonical and speculative.
The man who would one day call himself THE MASTER was born a Time Lord on the planet Gallifrey.1 From an early age, he proved himself to be extremely brilliant, a genius in mathematics.2 However, he was a restless and disaffected youth, with a vague feeling that some great destiny awaited him. Eventually, the young Master enrolled in the Pyrdon Academy of Time and met another young Time Lord, one who would eventually call himself the Doctor.3 The Master came to regard the Doctor as a good friend, as they shared many of their political views, particularly regarding the policies of the High Council of the Time Lords towards the affairs of other planets.4 The two friends also got to know a zealous neurochemistry student who would one day adopt the title of the Rani, although she wanted little to do with either of them.5 The Master and the Doctor enjoyed something of a friendly rivalry as regarded their studies, each trying to outdo the other while granting a grudging admiration for the other’s talent and intelligence. The Doctor, however, proved to be less than dedicated, and the Master’s degree in cosmic science was ultimately higher than the Doctor’s,6 who managed to scrape through with 51% on the second attempt.7
Following graduation from the Academy, the Doctor and the Master remained best friends, and both became active in Time Lord politics, attempting to change the system from the inside. For instance, the Doctor lobbied so hard for a complete ban on miniscopes, which he felt were an offense against the dignity of sentient life forms, that the High Council took action to have them all destroyed.8 The Master was perhaps less successful with his own agenda, and his disaffection grew. Then a crisis arose when the sitting Lord President of the High Council decided to use the dreaded weapon called the Hand of Omega to prevent any other civilization from developing time-travel technology, and thus pose a potential threat to the dominion of the Time Lords of Gallifrey. Both the Doctor and the Master were well aware of the terrible events that followed the discovery of the fabled Hand of Omega by the great criminal Salyavin, which occurred some time before they were born.9 Salyavin had been defeated and imprisoned by High Council President Morbius, but possession of the fearsome device corrupted him, and a great civil war ensued, at the end of which Morbius was executed.10 Determined not to allow such terrible events to occur again, the two friends decided to take decisive action.
The Master and the Doctor hatched a plan to steal the Hand of Omega and hide it away forever. They were successful in gaining possession of the device, but at the critical moment, the Master’s lifetime of dissatisfaction and malcontentment suddenly crystallized, for he realized that they could use the Hand of Omega to rule the universe. Then, surely, they could realize all the noble goals that Time Lord politics had prevented them from achieving.11 However, feeling his friend had betrayed him, the Doctor resolved to hide the weapon himself, and the two allies turned on each other. The Doctor stole an obsolete Type 40 time capsule and took the Hand of Omega away from Gallifrey,12 accompanied by a young girl who would eventually name herself Susan.13 The Master was apprehended and imprisoned by the Time Lords, who relentlessly pursued the Doctor through time and space. However, the Master soon made good his escape as well, vowing revenge on the Doctor and the Time Lords and intent on gaining the ultimate power that was nearly his. The Master also stole a time capsule, although in a bit more clandestine way than the Doctor had managed, and was even able to destroy all record of his existence from the Matrix, the Time Lords’ organic supercomputer.14 Renaming himself the Master, he then set off on a campaign of acquisition and conquest throughout time and space.
The Master’s activities and whereabouts for the next few centuries remain shrouded in mystery, but he used the time to develop his mental powers to such an extent that he could easily exert his will over weaker minds, and make even world leaders his puppets. He also developed or discovered technological means to accomplish similar ends, as well as his weapon of choice, the tissue-compression eliminator. The Master also cultivated a chameleon-like ability to blend into any society using forged credentials and his own natural charm. The Master considered himself a gentleman, whose ambition was wholly justified by his innate talent and vision of a cosmos united under his autocratic leadership, and he came to believe that any means necessary to accomplishing his goal were therefore acceptable. However, the Master evidently led a grueling existence, for he was forced to use up the remainder of his regenerations in a relatively short time.15 With each regeneration, he became more desperate to achieve his destiny, and more unscrupulous in his actions.
Eventually, the Master learned that his old adversary the Doctor had been tried by the Time Lord Tribunal and sentenced to exile on the planet Earth, a world the Doctor had developed a strong affinity for.16 The Master thus traveled to Earth and began an experiment under the guise of Professor Emil Keller. He installed a machine in Stangmoor prison that actually contained a living creature that fed off the mental energy of human beings.17 Some time later, the Master formed an alliance with the energy-based beings called the Nestenes, who were attempting a second invasion of the Earth, the first having been foiled by the Doctor. The Master thus infiltrated the Beacon Hill radio telescope facility as well as seeing to the production of a new generation of Autons. With the help of the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce (UNIT), the Doctor was able to foil the invasion as well as strand the Master on Earth by stealing the dematerialization circuit from his time capsule.18 Not to be outdone, the Master resumed his experiment with the Keller machine, using it as part of a complicated plot to cause a full-scale nuclear war, intending to set himself up as ruler of the devastated world. He struck a bargain with the Doctor, agreeing to hand over the nuclear warhead he had hijacked in return for his dematerialization circuit. Although the Doctor attempted to double-cross him, the Master retrieved his component and left Earth, but not before gloating over the Doctor’s exile.19 Unfortunately, the Master’s time capsule was captured by a giant space-borne parasite called Axos, which brought the Master back to Earth. Although they had made a deal, the Master was unwilling to trust Axos to release his ship to him, and so he tricked UNIT into giving him access to the Doctor’s ship, which the Doctor insists on calling the TARDIS. The Doctor offered to form an alliance with the Master so that they might both escape Earth before Axos destroyed it. However, this too was a trick, for once the TARDIS was operational, the Doctor used it to hurl Axos into an inescapable time-loop. The Master regained his own time ship and again managed to escape the Earth’s authorities.20
The Master then raided the Time Lords’ vast information files, in which he discovered a report on a doomsday weapon created by the inhabitants of the planet Uxarieus, which could cause stars to detonate from long distance. He traveled there only to have his plans ruined by the Doctor, who was acting at the behest of the Time Lord Tribunal.21 The Tribunal was aware of the Master’s activities, but they seemed to operate in secret, considering that the High Council would later claim total ignorance of the Master’s existence. He returned to Earth intending to gain control of the powerful forces of the Dæmons, alien scientists who had been manipulating humanity since prehistoric times.22 Despite a great deal of careful preparation, the Master’s plan was again foiled by the Doctor and UNIT, who even managed to capture the Master and put him in a specially prepared prison, where he spent many long and boring months. However, he had also learned from the Time Lords’ files of a race of aquatic sentient reptiles who were about to try to reclaim the Earth. He planned to ally himself with these “Sea Devils” against the human race, but they double-crossed him, forcing him to cooperate with the Doctor. However, it allowed the Master to escape back to his time ship.23
Another scheme brought him to Earth again, though, disguised as a Greek physicist who had invented a primitive transporter device. Its true purpose was to give the Master control of Kronos, one of the Chronovores that inhabit the time vortex. Despite the Doctor’s interference, the Master unleashed Kronos on ancient Atlantis, bringing about its destruction. The Doctor was finally able to free Kronos from the Master’s control, but the Master managed to escape yet again.24
Some time later, the Master formed an alliance with the Daleks, agreeing to help them invade the Milky Way galaxy in exchange for dominion over the planet Earth, although he actually intended to double-cross the Daleks and seize total power for himself. Employing some Ogron henchmen, the Master set about starting a war between the Earth and Draconian space empires. Unfortunately, his plans were once again upset by the Doctor, now free from his exile. His scheme collapsing, the Master wounded the Doctor with a ray gun and escaped in his time capsule.25
Not long after, the Master reached the end of his 12th and final regeneration. Unwilling to let his life come to an end without accomplishing his goals, he attempted to regenerate again, but the process decimated his body, leaving him looking like a warmed-over corpse. It was only his burning hatred of his own people that allowed him to survive in this pain-ravaged state. He also realized that his only hope for survival was to usurp the energies of the Eye of Harmony, a stabilized black hole created by Rassilon, which provided the Time Lords with all their power. But to do that, he must return to Gallifrey. He made a deal with an ambitious member of the High Council, Chancellor Goth, in which the Master would arrange for Goth to become President if Goth gave him passage through the transduction barrier that protected the planet. Goth had underestimated the Master’s mind-control powers, though, and became a puppet in a scheme of presidential assassination. Hoping to frame the Doctor for the crime, the Master sent him an urgent summons home. When the Matrix then generated a prediction of the impending assassination, the Master intercepted it and beamed it into the Doctor’s mind while he was en route to Gallifrey. The assassination was successful, and the Doctor was saved from execution only by a legal loophole, which gave him time to prove that Goth and the Master were behind the plot to kill the President. Goth was killed and the Master played dead as well, in order to be placed inside the Panopticon Vault, where the President’s body now lay in state. Reviving himself, the Master took from the President’s body the Sash of Rassilon and went to find the Great Key, a sort of ceremonial scepter. These relics, however, were actually powerful tools that allowed the user to use the Eye of Harmony. The Doctor managed to stop the Master before his tampering destroyed their entire stellar system, but not before he had unleashed earthquakes and destruction that left half the Capitol in ruins and caused untold damage and the loss of countless lives. Although he was apparently killed, the Sash of Rassilon enabled the Master to convert just enough power to continue in his current state of existence and escape in his time capsule.26 Now reminded of the Master and the danger he posed, the Time Lord authorities would keep a closer eye on him in the future, but they apparently had their own reasons for allowing renegades like the Master and the Doctor to roam the universe.27
Quite some time later, the Master formed a plan to usurp the awesome power of the Keeper of Traken. He arrived in the capitol city of the Empire of Traken, and his time ship disguised itself as a statue called the Melkur. From this base, the Master was able to exert his evil influence over a member of the ruling council, Kassia. The Doctor arrived, brought there by the dying Keeper, and he befriended Kassia’s husband, Consul Tremas. The Master’s plan was partially successful, and he briefly assumed the power of the keepership, which was enough to enable him to commandeer the body of Consul Tremas and refashion it to more closely resemble his old self.28 Escaping from Traken in his new body, the Master sprung a series of traps on the Doctor, who was now traveling with the orphaned daughter of Tremas, Nyssa. When the Doctor foiled the Master’s attempt to gain control of the reality-altering mathematics of the inhabitants of Logopolis, the Master caused the Doctor to plummet from atop the radio telescope at Earth’s Pharos Project, which forced the Doctor to regenerate.29 While he was recovering inside the TARDIS, the Master kidnapped his young friend Adric and replaced him with a duplicate created by the Logopolitan’s block transfer computation process, which Adric’s mathematical prowess made possible. It also created the incomprehensible city of Castrovalva as a further trap for the Doctor, but it was ultimately the Master who became trapped when the local space folded in on itself.30
Somehow, the Master escaped this fate, but eventually found himself stranded on prehistoric Earth, the dynamorphic generator aboard his time capsule exhausted. He discovered the gestalt form of a group of Xeraphin colonists, who merged to save themselves from radiation sickness. Planning to use their powers to repair his time ship, the Master first cannibalized his ship to create a time corridor that brought a couple of Concorde aircraft back from the future. Aboard the second Concorde was the Doctor, and the Master used components from his TARDIS as well. However, the Doctor was able to trick the Master, leaving him stranded on the distant planet of Xeriphas.31 On this world, the Master discovered a shape-changing android called Kamelion, which apparently enabled him to repair his time ship and resume his campaigns. The Master began using Kamelion’s abilities to undermine key civilizations in order to set himself up as ruler of the resulting chaos. However, the Doctor turned up once again, stole the android, and sent the Master’s time ship out of control.32
The Master was rescued by none other than the High Council of the Time Lords, who offered him a new life-cycle, a full set of 12 regenerations, if he would agree to rescue the Doctor from the Death Zone, a vast wilderness on Gallifrey used in the days of Rassilon as a sort of gladiatorial arena. The Master encountered several of the Doctor’s incarnations, but the Doctor seemed to have difficulty recognizing him in his Trakenite body. Regardless, none of the Doctors trusted him enough to let him help, so the Master went off on his own, forming a convenient alliance with some Cybermen until he was able to destroy them within the Tomb of Rassilon at the center of the Death Zone. Once inside the inner sanctum, the Master claimed the prize of immortality as his own, only to be knocked out by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart. Lord President Borusa, who was the mastermind of the entire operation, then claimed immortality, only to discover it was a trap set long ago by Rassilon himself, whose image appeared over his sarcophagus and teleported the Master back to his time ship. From there the Master made good his escape.33
While experimenting with his tissue-compression eliminator, the Master had an accident that left him miniaturized. He was able to construct a makeshift control room scaled down to his current size, which he used to reassert control over the android Kamelion, still stored aboard the Doctor’s TARDIS. With Kamelion’s help, the Master traveled to the planet Sarn, where the healing properties of numismaton gas restored him to his normal size, despite the interference of the Doctor and his friends. Something went wrong, however, and the Master appeared to be consumed by the numismaton flames, but in fact he lived to fight another day.34
Subsequently, the Master tracked down the Rani, an acquaintance from the Time Lord Academy who had also left Gallifrey to set herself up as ruler of the planet Miasimia Goria. Needing a special chemical found only in earthlings, the Rani had traveled to 19th century Earth, to a small mining village near Killingworth, England, and it was there that the Master found her. He decided that he could use her scheme to help him become ruler of the Earth, although the Rani proved unwilling to cooperate. The Doctor turned up also and sabotaged the Rani’s time ship, sending it out of control with she and the Master trapped on board with some rapidly growing dinosaurs. The Master’s own time capsule was apparently abandoned outside the mining village, disguised by its chameleon circuit.35
Somehow, the Master was able to return to Gallifrey and once again infiltrate the Matrix. While there, he uncovered shocking information as to the secret activities of the High Council of the Time Lords. Upon discovering that a race called the Andromedans were hacking data from the Matrix from a secret base on Earth, the High Council ordered that a device called the Magnetron be used to move the Earth to another part of the galaxy. Intent on gaining the stolen data for himself but unable to act independently, the Master hired an intergalactic highwayman named Sabalom Glitz to recover the files from the relocated Earth. Afraid that the meddlesome Doctor would uncover these and more of their secrets, the High Council rigged a trial that would finally put the Doctor out of the way. The Master decided there was more to be gained from exposing the High Council’s conspiracy than from letting the Doctor be executed, and he intervened. Once the scandal was revealed, insurrection broke out on Gallifrey and the High Council was deposed. However, both the Master and Glitz became trapped in the Matrix, awaiting justice from the new Time Lord government.36
The Master was exiled to the unnamed planet of the Cheetah People, and was stranded there when he next encountered the Doctor. The strange energies of the planet infected the bodies of its inhabitants, causing a feline mutation to slowly transform them into Cheetah People. While there, he discovered traces of a lost civilization that had bred a species of kitlings, small cat-like creatures that possessed the power of teleportation. Establishing a mind-link with these creatures, the Master used them to bring the Doctor to the doomed planet, certain that his clever adversary would find a means of escape for both of them. The Doctor did, indeed, and the Master found himself back on Earth, but the mutation continued to transform his body and affect his mind. As he succumbed to the transformation, the Master developed the power of teleportation as well, and used it to transport himself and the Doctor back to the disintegrating planet for their final battle. The Doctor refused to fight, however, and as the planet broke up, he was transported back to the TARDIS in a blinding flash.37 It is conceivable that the Master was likewise transported to his “home,” his time capsule, sitting derelict near Killingworth for a century. At which point, he undoubtedly made it operational again and dematerialized, the power of tooth and claw still growing within him.
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1 8.1 “Terror of the Autons.”
2 14.3 “The Deadly Assassin.”
3 8.1 “Terror of the Autons.”
4 9.3 “The Sea Devils.”
5 24.1 “Time and the Rani.”
6 8.1 “Terror of the Autons.”
7 16.1 “The Ribos Operation.”
8 10.2 “Carnival of Monsters.”
9 17.6 “Shada.”
10 13.5 “The Brain of Morbius.”
11 8.4 “Colony in Space.”
12 25.1 “Remembrance of the Daleks.”
13 1.1 “An Unearthly Child.”
14 14.3 “The Deadly Assassin.”
15 ibid.
16 6.7 “The War Games.”
17 8.2 “The Mind of Evil.”
18 8.1 “Terror of the Autons.”
19 8.2 “The Mind of Evil.”
20 8.3 “The Claws of Axos.”
21 8.4 “Colony in Space.”
22 8.5 “The Dæmons.”
23 9.3 “The Sea Devils.”
24 9.5 “The Time Monster.”
25 10.3 “Frontier in Space.”
26 14.3 “The Deadly Assassin.”
27 20.7 “The Five Doctors.”
28 18.6 “The Keeper of Traken.”
29 18.7 “Logopolis.”
30 19.1 “Castrovalva.”
31 19.7 “Time-Flight.”
32 20.6 “The King’s Demons.”
33 20.7 “The Five Doctors.”
34 21.5 “Planet of Fire.”
35 22.3 “The Mark of the Rani.”
36 23.4 “The Ultimate Foe.”
37 26.4 “Survival.”
Next: The TARDIS Owner’s Manual
I do not consider any of the numerous Doctor Who novels to be canonical, nor do I accept any film or television versions not originally shown on the BBC or not made as part of the original series production schedule. Therefore, this history is based purely on the episodes of the original television series.
Any conflicting accounts of the history of the Master are therefore non-canonical and speculative.
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE MASTER
The man who would one day call himself THE MASTER was born a Time Lord on the planet Gallifrey.1 From an early age, he proved himself to be extremely brilliant, a genius in mathematics.2 However, he was a restless and disaffected youth, with a vague feeling that some great destiny awaited him. Eventually, the young Master enrolled in the Pyrdon Academy of Time and met another young Time Lord, one who would eventually call himself the Doctor.3 The Master came to regard the Doctor as a good friend, as they shared many of their political views, particularly regarding the policies of the High Council of the Time Lords towards the affairs of other planets.4 The two friends also got to know a zealous neurochemistry student who would one day adopt the title of the Rani, although she wanted little to do with either of them.5 The Master and the Doctor enjoyed something of a friendly rivalry as regarded their studies, each trying to outdo the other while granting a grudging admiration for the other’s talent and intelligence. The Doctor, however, proved to be less than dedicated, and the Master’s degree in cosmic science was ultimately higher than the Doctor’s,6 who managed to scrape through with 51% on the second attempt.7
Following graduation from the Academy, the Doctor and the Master remained best friends, and both became active in Time Lord politics, attempting to change the system from the inside. For instance, the Doctor lobbied so hard for a complete ban on miniscopes, which he felt were an offense against the dignity of sentient life forms, that the High Council took action to have them all destroyed.8 The Master was perhaps less successful with his own agenda, and his disaffection grew. Then a crisis arose when the sitting Lord President of the High Council decided to use the dreaded weapon called the Hand of Omega to prevent any other civilization from developing time-travel technology, and thus pose a potential threat to the dominion of the Time Lords of Gallifrey. Both the Doctor and the Master were well aware of the terrible events that followed the discovery of the fabled Hand of Omega by the great criminal Salyavin, which occurred some time before they were born.9 Salyavin had been defeated and imprisoned by High Council President Morbius, but possession of the fearsome device corrupted him, and a great civil war ensued, at the end of which Morbius was executed.10 Determined not to allow such terrible events to occur again, the two friends decided to take decisive action.
The Master and the Doctor hatched a plan to steal the Hand of Omega and hide it away forever. They were successful in gaining possession of the device, but at the critical moment, the Master’s lifetime of dissatisfaction and malcontentment suddenly crystallized, for he realized that they could use the Hand of Omega to rule the universe. Then, surely, they could realize all the noble goals that Time Lord politics had prevented them from achieving.11 However, feeling his friend had betrayed him, the Doctor resolved to hide the weapon himself, and the two allies turned on each other. The Doctor stole an obsolete Type 40 time capsule and took the Hand of Omega away from Gallifrey,12 accompanied by a young girl who would eventually name herself Susan.13 The Master was apprehended and imprisoned by the Time Lords, who relentlessly pursued the Doctor through time and space. However, the Master soon made good his escape as well, vowing revenge on the Doctor and the Time Lords and intent on gaining the ultimate power that was nearly his. The Master also stole a time capsule, although in a bit more clandestine way than the Doctor had managed, and was even able to destroy all record of his existence from the Matrix, the Time Lords’ organic supercomputer.14 Renaming himself the Master, he then set off on a campaign of acquisition and conquest throughout time and space.
The Master’s activities and whereabouts for the next few centuries remain shrouded in mystery, but he used the time to develop his mental powers to such an extent that he could easily exert his will over weaker minds, and make even world leaders his puppets. He also developed or discovered technological means to accomplish similar ends, as well as his weapon of choice, the tissue-compression eliminator. The Master also cultivated a chameleon-like ability to blend into any society using forged credentials and his own natural charm. The Master considered himself a gentleman, whose ambition was wholly justified by his innate talent and vision of a cosmos united under his autocratic leadership, and he came to believe that any means necessary to accomplishing his goal were therefore acceptable. However, the Master evidently led a grueling existence, for he was forced to use up the remainder of his regenerations in a relatively short time.15 With each regeneration, he became more desperate to achieve his destiny, and more unscrupulous in his actions.
Eventually, the Master learned that his old adversary the Doctor had been tried by the Time Lord Tribunal and sentenced to exile on the planet Earth, a world the Doctor had developed a strong affinity for.16 The Master thus traveled to Earth and began an experiment under the guise of Professor Emil Keller. He installed a machine in Stangmoor prison that actually contained a living creature that fed off the mental energy of human beings.17 Some time later, the Master formed an alliance with the energy-based beings called the Nestenes, who were attempting a second invasion of the Earth, the first having been foiled by the Doctor. The Master thus infiltrated the Beacon Hill radio telescope facility as well as seeing to the production of a new generation of Autons. With the help of the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce (UNIT), the Doctor was able to foil the invasion as well as strand the Master on Earth by stealing the dematerialization circuit from his time capsule.18 Not to be outdone, the Master resumed his experiment with the Keller machine, using it as part of a complicated plot to cause a full-scale nuclear war, intending to set himself up as ruler of the devastated world. He struck a bargain with the Doctor, agreeing to hand over the nuclear warhead he had hijacked in return for his dematerialization circuit. Although the Doctor attempted to double-cross him, the Master retrieved his component and left Earth, but not before gloating over the Doctor’s exile.19 Unfortunately, the Master’s time capsule was captured by a giant space-borne parasite called Axos, which brought the Master back to Earth. Although they had made a deal, the Master was unwilling to trust Axos to release his ship to him, and so he tricked UNIT into giving him access to the Doctor’s ship, which the Doctor insists on calling the TARDIS. The Doctor offered to form an alliance with the Master so that they might both escape Earth before Axos destroyed it. However, this too was a trick, for once the TARDIS was operational, the Doctor used it to hurl Axos into an inescapable time-loop. The Master regained his own time ship and again managed to escape the Earth’s authorities.20
The Master then raided the Time Lords’ vast information files, in which he discovered a report on a doomsday weapon created by the inhabitants of the planet Uxarieus, which could cause stars to detonate from long distance. He traveled there only to have his plans ruined by the Doctor, who was acting at the behest of the Time Lord Tribunal.21 The Tribunal was aware of the Master’s activities, but they seemed to operate in secret, considering that the High Council would later claim total ignorance of the Master’s existence. He returned to Earth intending to gain control of the powerful forces of the Dæmons, alien scientists who had been manipulating humanity since prehistoric times.22 Despite a great deal of careful preparation, the Master’s plan was again foiled by the Doctor and UNIT, who even managed to capture the Master and put him in a specially prepared prison, where he spent many long and boring months. However, he had also learned from the Time Lords’ files of a race of aquatic sentient reptiles who were about to try to reclaim the Earth. He planned to ally himself with these “Sea Devils” against the human race, but they double-crossed him, forcing him to cooperate with the Doctor. However, it allowed the Master to escape back to his time ship.23
Another scheme brought him to Earth again, though, disguised as a Greek physicist who had invented a primitive transporter device. Its true purpose was to give the Master control of Kronos, one of the Chronovores that inhabit the time vortex. Despite the Doctor’s interference, the Master unleashed Kronos on ancient Atlantis, bringing about its destruction. The Doctor was finally able to free Kronos from the Master’s control, but the Master managed to escape yet again.24
Some time later, the Master formed an alliance with the Daleks, agreeing to help them invade the Milky Way galaxy in exchange for dominion over the planet Earth, although he actually intended to double-cross the Daleks and seize total power for himself. Employing some Ogron henchmen, the Master set about starting a war between the Earth and Draconian space empires. Unfortunately, his plans were once again upset by the Doctor, now free from his exile. His scheme collapsing, the Master wounded the Doctor with a ray gun and escaped in his time capsule.25
Not long after, the Master reached the end of his 12th and final regeneration. Unwilling to let his life come to an end without accomplishing his goals, he attempted to regenerate again, but the process decimated his body, leaving him looking like a warmed-over corpse. It was only his burning hatred of his own people that allowed him to survive in this pain-ravaged state. He also realized that his only hope for survival was to usurp the energies of the Eye of Harmony, a stabilized black hole created by Rassilon, which provided the Time Lords with all their power. But to do that, he must return to Gallifrey. He made a deal with an ambitious member of the High Council, Chancellor Goth, in which the Master would arrange for Goth to become President if Goth gave him passage through the transduction barrier that protected the planet. Goth had underestimated the Master’s mind-control powers, though, and became a puppet in a scheme of presidential assassination. Hoping to frame the Doctor for the crime, the Master sent him an urgent summons home. When the Matrix then generated a prediction of the impending assassination, the Master intercepted it and beamed it into the Doctor’s mind while he was en route to Gallifrey. The assassination was successful, and the Doctor was saved from execution only by a legal loophole, which gave him time to prove that Goth and the Master were behind the plot to kill the President. Goth was killed and the Master played dead as well, in order to be placed inside the Panopticon Vault, where the President’s body now lay in state. Reviving himself, the Master took from the President’s body the Sash of Rassilon and went to find the Great Key, a sort of ceremonial scepter. These relics, however, were actually powerful tools that allowed the user to use the Eye of Harmony. The Doctor managed to stop the Master before his tampering destroyed their entire stellar system, but not before he had unleashed earthquakes and destruction that left half the Capitol in ruins and caused untold damage and the loss of countless lives. Although he was apparently killed, the Sash of Rassilon enabled the Master to convert just enough power to continue in his current state of existence and escape in his time capsule.26 Now reminded of the Master and the danger he posed, the Time Lord authorities would keep a closer eye on him in the future, but they apparently had their own reasons for allowing renegades like the Master and the Doctor to roam the universe.27
Quite some time later, the Master formed a plan to usurp the awesome power of the Keeper of Traken. He arrived in the capitol city of the Empire of Traken, and his time ship disguised itself as a statue called the Melkur. From this base, the Master was able to exert his evil influence over a member of the ruling council, Kassia. The Doctor arrived, brought there by the dying Keeper, and he befriended Kassia’s husband, Consul Tremas. The Master’s plan was partially successful, and he briefly assumed the power of the keepership, which was enough to enable him to commandeer the body of Consul Tremas and refashion it to more closely resemble his old self.28 Escaping from Traken in his new body, the Master sprung a series of traps on the Doctor, who was now traveling with the orphaned daughter of Tremas, Nyssa. When the Doctor foiled the Master’s attempt to gain control of the reality-altering mathematics of the inhabitants of Logopolis, the Master caused the Doctor to plummet from atop the radio telescope at Earth’s Pharos Project, which forced the Doctor to regenerate.29 While he was recovering inside the TARDIS, the Master kidnapped his young friend Adric and replaced him with a duplicate created by the Logopolitan’s block transfer computation process, which Adric’s mathematical prowess made possible. It also created the incomprehensible city of Castrovalva as a further trap for the Doctor, but it was ultimately the Master who became trapped when the local space folded in on itself.30
Somehow, the Master escaped this fate, but eventually found himself stranded on prehistoric Earth, the dynamorphic generator aboard his time capsule exhausted. He discovered the gestalt form of a group of Xeraphin colonists, who merged to save themselves from radiation sickness. Planning to use their powers to repair his time ship, the Master first cannibalized his ship to create a time corridor that brought a couple of Concorde aircraft back from the future. Aboard the second Concorde was the Doctor, and the Master used components from his TARDIS as well. However, the Doctor was able to trick the Master, leaving him stranded on the distant planet of Xeriphas.31 On this world, the Master discovered a shape-changing android called Kamelion, which apparently enabled him to repair his time ship and resume his campaigns. The Master began using Kamelion’s abilities to undermine key civilizations in order to set himself up as ruler of the resulting chaos. However, the Doctor turned up once again, stole the android, and sent the Master’s time ship out of control.32
The Master was rescued by none other than the High Council of the Time Lords, who offered him a new life-cycle, a full set of 12 regenerations, if he would agree to rescue the Doctor from the Death Zone, a vast wilderness on Gallifrey used in the days of Rassilon as a sort of gladiatorial arena. The Master encountered several of the Doctor’s incarnations, but the Doctor seemed to have difficulty recognizing him in his Trakenite body. Regardless, none of the Doctors trusted him enough to let him help, so the Master went off on his own, forming a convenient alliance with some Cybermen until he was able to destroy them within the Tomb of Rassilon at the center of the Death Zone. Once inside the inner sanctum, the Master claimed the prize of immortality as his own, only to be knocked out by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart. Lord President Borusa, who was the mastermind of the entire operation, then claimed immortality, only to discover it was a trap set long ago by Rassilon himself, whose image appeared over his sarcophagus and teleported the Master back to his time ship. From there the Master made good his escape.33
While experimenting with his tissue-compression eliminator, the Master had an accident that left him miniaturized. He was able to construct a makeshift control room scaled down to his current size, which he used to reassert control over the android Kamelion, still stored aboard the Doctor’s TARDIS. With Kamelion’s help, the Master traveled to the planet Sarn, where the healing properties of numismaton gas restored him to his normal size, despite the interference of the Doctor and his friends. Something went wrong, however, and the Master appeared to be consumed by the numismaton flames, but in fact he lived to fight another day.34
Subsequently, the Master tracked down the Rani, an acquaintance from the Time Lord Academy who had also left Gallifrey to set herself up as ruler of the planet Miasimia Goria. Needing a special chemical found only in earthlings, the Rani had traveled to 19th century Earth, to a small mining village near Killingworth, England, and it was there that the Master found her. He decided that he could use her scheme to help him become ruler of the Earth, although the Rani proved unwilling to cooperate. The Doctor turned up also and sabotaged the Rani’s time ship, sending it out of control with she and the Master trapped on board with some rapidly growing dinosaurs. The Master’s own time capsule was apparently abandoned outside the mining village, disguised by its chameleon circuit.35
Somehow, the Master was able to return to Gallifrey and once again infiltrate the Matrix. While there, he uncovered shocking information as to the secret activities of the High Council of the Time Lords. Upon discovering that a race called the Andromedans were hacking data from the Matrix from a secret base on Earth, the High Council ordered that a device called the Magnetron be used to move the Earth to another part of the galaxy. Intent on gaining the stolen data for himself but unable to act independently, the Master hired an intergalactic highwayman named Sabalom Glitz to recover the files from the relocated Earth. Afraid that the meddlesome Doctor would uncover these and more of their secrets, the High Council rigged a trial that would finally put the Doctor out of the way. The Master decided there was more to be gained from exposing the High Council’s conspiracy than from letting the Doctor be executed, and he intervened. Once the scandal was revealed, insurrection broke out on Gallifrey and the High Council was deposed. However, both the Master and Glitz became trapped in the Matrix, awaiting justice from the new Time Lord government.36
The Master was exiled to the unnamed planet of the Cheetah People, and was stranded there when he next encountered the Doctor. The strange energies of the planet infected the bodies of its inhabitants, causing a feline mutation to slowly transform them into Cheetah People. While there, he discovered traces of a lost civilization that had bred a species of kitlings, small cat-like creatures that possessed the power of teleportation. Establishing a mind-link with these creatures, the Master used them to bring the Doctor to the doomed planet, certain that his clever adversary would find a means of escape for both of them. The Doctor did, indeed, and the Master found himself back on Earth, but the mutation continued to transform his body and affect his mind. As he succumbed to the transformation, the Master developed the power of teleportation as well, and used it to transport himself and the Doctor back to the disintegrating planet for their final battle. The Doctor refused to fight, however, and as the planet broke up, he was transported back to the TARDIS in a blinding flash.37 It is conceivable that the Master was likewise transported to his “home,” his time capsule, sitting derelict near Killingworth for a century. At which point, he undoubtedly made it operational again and dematerialized, the power of tooth and claw still growing within him.
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Next: The TARDIS Owner’s Manual
Monday
Considering Pym Particles
There has been a spate of books published recently examining the scientific underpinnings of various works of science-fiction, such as Lois Gresh and Robert Weinberg’s The Science of Superheroes, a fad inspired by the 1996 book The Physics of Star Trek by Case Western Reserve University physics professor Lawrence M. Krauss. I’m sorry to say I have not read any of these books, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about such matters. I have of late been especially interested in the nature of the elusive Pym particle, which is commonly used in the Marvel Universe to cause people or objects to shrink or grow. However, in whatever form these Pym particles are administered, be it in a fluid or as a gas, they have a very specific set of effects on the object as it changes size. By examining these effects, I devised a startling new theory on the workings of Henry Pym’s greatest discovery.
I started with some basic premises, derived empirically:
First, when Ant-Man shrinks to the size of an ant, he still retains his “full-size” strength, meaning he can jump on a guy and knock him down. This was amply demonstrated in various issues of Tales to Astonish, recently reprinted in Essential Ant-Man. By the same token, he can also lift a pencil, even though it looks like a telephone pole compared to his tiny stature. On the other hand, he could ride upon a flying ant, which was obviously able to bear his weight.
Second, neither his teammates in the Avengers nor the villains they fought ever made fun of Ant-Man for having a squeaky little voice. They did occasionally have trouble hearing him, though, without electronic amplification. Pym’s partner the Wasp suffered from this problem as well, usually when she needed to warn someone of imminent danger. Similarly, no one ever commented on Giant-Man or Goliath having a super-deep voice, either.
Third, when, as Giant-Man, Pym would grow to a height of fifty feet (a feat later duplicated by Clint Barton), he was still able to stand up without shattering his leg bones and inflate his lungs to breathe. Similarly, he could walk around on rooftops and climb the exterior of buildings without causing expensive property damage. He was, however, apparently able to lift heavy objects such as an automobile.
This leads me to believe that the person who is exposed to Pym particles does not actually shrink or grow at all, in the sense that his or her body gains or loses mass. Instead, the Pym particles create a sort of space-warp that changes the body’s relationship to the surrounding world. Simply put, it’s less a matter of Ant-Man’s body being compressed, and more a matter of it suddenly being further away.
Imagine you and I are standing at opposite ends of a football field. From your perspective, I would appear to be very small. But of course, I would still have my normal strength and gravity would affect me the same as it does if I were standing right next to you. If I spoke to you, my voice would be harder to hear, but its pitch would be no different. Now, suppose I could essentially be over there and next to you at the same time. I would appear to have shrunk to a very small size, but actually I’d be the same size I always am. If I then jumped on your foot, you would feel my full 210 lbs. coming down on you in a very concentrated area. This is because my body is inside the space-warp and your foot is outside of it.
Now, let’s say I sit upon a flying ant, which doesn’t try to kill me because of my handy cybernetic helmet. Instead of crushing the ant, I draw it into the space-warp with me. Now the ant is essentially “giant-size” and able to bear my weight as though I were 6 feet tall and it was 12 feet long. However, the ant appears to be its normal size relative to the world around it.
On the other side of the coin, if I use the Pym particles to appear to grow to a height of 10, 25, or 50 feet, it is the reverse of the previous process. It’s more as though I were closer to you, rather than becoming more massive. My voice would not seem deeper, just louder. And if I walked across a pedestrian footbridge, it wouldn’t collapse any more than it would if I were normal-size, because I still weigh 210 lbs. Therefore, no matter how big I seem to get, I can always support the weight of my own body normally.
Lifting an automobile is analogous to flying on the ant. As I grasp the car, I draw it into the space-warp with me, and it then seems to me to have been miniaturized, even though it remains the same size relative to the rest of the world. The point is, I haven’t really “grown;” a more appropriate term might be “magnified.” Maybe it would be clearer to say that the space-warp has made the rest of the world farther away, from my perspective. Follow: We’re back on either side of the football field, except now we’re on opposite sides of the 50-yard line instead of being in the end zones. From your perspective, everything on my side of the field seems much smaller – me, the benches, the cooler of Gatorade. So, if you could be on your side and on my side at the same time, you would seem gigantic, relatively speaking. It’s an extension of the celebrated “I’m Crushing Your Head!” phenomenon.
Thus, the “shrinking” and “growing” is really just a sort of optical illusion. The space-warp has merely altered the relative distance between the objects within it and those without. That would satisfy the three premises listed above.
This theory is inspired by the concept of “transdimensional engineering” which allowed the TARDIS on Doctor Who to be larger on the inside than it is on the outside. As the Doctor once explained, the only way to put a large box inside a small box is to have the large box be further away so that it looks smaller, at which point it would seem to easily fit inside the small box, with room to spare. The trick is to have the large box be “over there” and “here” at the same time. That’s the essence of transdimensional engineering.
For the rather half-assed explanation of the workings of Pym Particles originally devised for the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, consult the online Marvel Directory.
I started with some basic premises, derived empirically:
First, when Ant-Man shrinks to the size of an ant, he still retains his “full-size” strength, meaning he can jump on a guy and knock him down. This was amply demonstrated in various issues of Tales to Astonish, recently reprinted in Essential Ant-Man. By the same token, he can also lift a pencil, even though it looks like a telephone pole compared to his tiny stature. On the other hand, he could ride upon a flying ant, which was obviously able to bear his weight.
Second, neither his teammates in the Avengers nor the villains they fought ever made fun of Ant-Man for having a squeaky little voice. They did occasionally have trouble hearing him, though, without electronic amplification. Pym’s partner the Wasp suffered from this problem as well, usually when she needed to warn someone of imminent danger. Similarly, no one ever commented on Giant-Man or Goliath having a super-deep voice, either.
Third, when, as Giant-Man, Pym would grow to a height of fifty feet (a feat later duplicated by Clint Barton), he was still able to stand up without shattering his leg bones and inflate his lungs to breathe. Similarly, he could walk around on rooftops and climb the exterior of buildings without causing expensive property damage. He was, however, apparently able to lift heavy objects such as an automobile.
This leads me to believe that the person who is exposed to Pym particles does not actually shrink or grow at all, in the sense that his or her body gains or loses mass. Instead, the Pym particles create a sort of space-warp that changes the body’s relationship to the surrounding world. Simply put, it’s less a matter of Ant-Man’s body being compressed, and more a matter of it suddenly being further away.
Imagine you and I are standing at opposite ends of a football field. From your perspective, I would appear to be very small. But of course, I would still have my normal strength and gravity would affect me the same as it does if I were standing right next to you. If I spoke to you, my voice would be harder to hear, but its pitch would be no different. Now, suppose I could essentially be over there and next to you at the same time. I would appear to have shrunk to a very small size, but actually I’d be the same size I always am. If I then jumped on your foot, you would feel my full 210 lbs. coming down on you in a very concentrated area. This is because my body is inside the space-warp and your foot is outside of it.
Now, let’s say I sit upon a flying ant, which doesn’t try to kill me because of my handy cybernetic helmet. Instead of crushing the ant, I draw it into the space-warp with me. Now the ant is essentially “giant-size” and able to bear my weight as though I were 6 feet tall and it was 12 feet long. However, the ant appears to be its normal size relative to the world around it.
On the other side of the coin, if I use the Pym particles to appear to grow to a height of 10, 25, or 50 feet, it is the reverse of the previous process. It’s more as though I were closer to you, rather than becoming more massive. My voice would not seem deeper, just louder. And if I walked across a pedestrian footbridge, it wouldn’t collapse any more than it would if I were normal-size, because I still weigh 210 lbs. Therefore, no matter how big I seem to get, I can always support the weight of my own body normally.
Lifting an automobile is analogous to flying on the ant. As I grasp the car, I draw it into the space-warp with me, and it then seems to me to have been miniaturized, even though it remains the same size relative to the rest of the world. The point is, I haven’t really “grown;” a more appropriate term might be “magnified.” Maybe it would be clearer to say that the space-warp has made the rest of the world farther away, from my perspective. Follow: We’re back on either side of the football field, except now we’re on opposite sides of the 50-yard line instead of being in the end zones. From your perspective, everything on my side of the field seems much smaller – me, the benches, the cooler of Gatorade. So, if you could be on your side and on my side at the same time, you would seem gigantic, relatively speaking. It’s an extension of the celebrated “I’m Crushing Your Head!” phenomenon.
Thus, the “shrinking” and “growing” is really just a sort of optical illusion. The space-warp has merely altered the relative distance between the objects within it and those without. That would satisfy the three premises listed above.
This theory is inspired by the concept of “transdimensional engineering” which allowed the TARDIS on Doctor Who to be larger on the inside than it is on the outside. As the Doctor once explained, the only way to put a large box inside a small box is to have the large box be further away so that it looks smaller, at which point it would seem to easily fit inside the small box, with room to spare. The trick is to have the large box be “over there” and “here” at the same time. That’s the essence of transdimensional engineering.
For the rather half-assed explanation of the workings of Pym Particles originally devised for the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, consult the online Marvel Directory.
Thursday
Tony Television Gets Real
Friday night has traditionally been called the “television graveyard” –- the night only losers stay home and watch the tube. At the Tony Television Network, we prefer to think of them as TV connoisseurs. That’s why we’ve developed these finely-crafted programs to appeal to the most discriminating of tastes. So pour a glass of wine, cut the cheese, and tune in to the Best TV Network Ever!!!
8:00 –- MYSTERIOUS HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ARCANE. Malcolm McDowell and Jeri Ryan host this fascinating weekly odyssey into the world’s most baffling mysteries. From their ornate and spooky set, they weave a web of reports from their far-flung correspondents and investigators. In the first episode, we learn all about a group of dedicated UFO researchers called The Friends of Gray Barker; discover the shocking truth about the celebrated Patterson Bigfoot film; and see biographical profiles of the scary Satanist Anton LaVey and occult rocket scientist John Whiteside “Jack” Parsons. Plus, musical guest Lisa Loeb rocks the house.
9:00 –- THE PRISONERS. Two unwitting contestants wake up to find themselves stripped of their identities and trapped in a remote resort village in this “Reality TV” show based on the classic 1968 thriller The Prisoner. Nominated by friends and family, the hapless contestants must first discover what’s happened to them and then try to find a way to escape. The only people in “the Village” they can trust are each other, but each starts out unaware of the other’s presence! Can they find each other within a bedeviling maze of betrayal and deceit? Can they overcome the machinations of each week’s sadistic new “Number 2”? Thrill to their exploits in this high-stakes game of identity and perseverance! Next time, it could be you!
10:00 –- WORLD’S CRUELLEST PRACTICAL JOKES. Bad girls Rose McGowan and Lisa Boyle host this rip-roaring “cinema verité” show that really pushes the envelope. In the first episode we take our hidden cameras to a hospital emergency room for all manner of hilarious hijinks, and then top it off with our weekly “Talking Corpse” feature from the palatial Mortando Funeral Chapel. Get in on the wacky fun!
The only TV graveyard now will be for our competitors! Long live TTN !!!
Previous: Tony Television is Family Television
Next: Tony Television Strikes Back
8:00 –- MYSTERIOUS HIDDEN SECRETS OF THE ARCANE. Malcolm McDowell and Jeri Ryan host this fascinating weekly odyssey into the world’s most baffling mysteries. From their ornate and spooky set, they weave a web of reports from their far-flung correspondents and investigators. In the first episode, we learn all about a group of dedicated UFO researchers called The Friends of Gray Barker; discover the shocking truth about the celebrated Patterson Bigfoot film; and see biographical profiles of the scary Satanist Anton LaVey and occult rocket scientist John Whiteside “Jack” Parsons. Plus, musical guest Lisa Loeb rocks the house.
9:00 –- THE PRISONERS. Two unwitting contestants wake up to find themselves stripped of their identities and trapped in a remote resort village in this “Reality TV” show based on the classic 1968 thriller The Prisoner. Nominated by friends and family, the hapless contestants must first discover what’s happened to them and then try to find a way to escape. The only people in “the Village” they can trust are each other, but each starts out unaware of the other’s presence! Can they find each other within a bedeviling maze of betrayal and deceit? Can they overcome the machinations of each week’s sadistic new “Number 2”? Thrill to their exploits in this high-stakes game of identity and perseverance! Next time, it could be you!
10:00 –- WORLD’S CRUELLEST PRACTICAL JOKES. Bad girls Rose McGowan and Lisa Boyle host this rip-roaring “cinema verité” show that really pushes the envelope. In the first episode we take our hidden cameras to a hospital emergency room for all manner of hilarious hijinks, and then top it off with our weekly “Talking Corpse” feature from the palatial Mortando Funeral Chapel. Get in on the wacky fun!
The only TV graveyard now will be for our competitors! Long live TTN !!!
Previous: Tony Television is Family Television
Next: Tony Television Strikes Back
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