Tuesday

Tony Television Special #3

We here at the Tony Television Network have never worried about competition from niche-oriented cable-TV outlets, because we’ve beaten them at their own game! Our intrepid research teams have scavenged through file cabinets all over the globe to produce our third special presentation, which is nothing less than the ultimate in niche entertainment! Remember, for spine-tingling real-world chills and pants-wetting true-life thrills, nobody does niche like TTN!


SHARKS VS. NAZIS

This astonishing feature-length documentary uses cutting-edge computer-generated imagery, live-action reenactments, and the latest technological developments in deep-sea cinematography to tell the little-known story of one of the strangest battles of the Second World War.

In the spring of 1942, the infamous Nazi submarine U-113, under the command of the cunning Korvettenkapitän Jurgen Unterwäsche, broke formation with its “wolf pack” to pursue an Allied troop transport ship into the Caribbean Sea. However, before the devious U-boat crew could launch a single torpedo, they were savagely attacked by a clan of freedom-loving Great White Sharks. Proving themselves the deadliest predators in the ocean, the sharks disabled the sub just west of the Grenadines, forcing the crew to abandon ship. Fighting the sharks tooth and nail, only a few of the Nazi mariners managed to make it to safety on the beaches of Union Island. They spent the rest of the war in an Allied P.O.W. camp.

This gripping tale of a forgotten chapter of World War II is narrated by Peter Coyote.



The Tony Television Network -- Bringing You History’s Mysteries of the Natural World!


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Next: Tony Television Special #4



Sunday

The Diary of Jean Grey

Dear Diary,

This morning we trained in the Danger Room again. Bobby Drake is such an immature little brat! I hate him! And Warren was teasing me constantly! I hate him too!!! This afternoon we drove into town and saw ‘Hud.’ Paul Newman is gorgeous!!! I wish Scott could be more like him. Last night I had a dream where I turned into a bird of fire and destroyed an entire planet of asparagus. Isn’t that weird?



Cool, huh? I think I capture every nuance perfectly, and really evoke the feeling of the time period, and what it feels like to be an upper-middle-class suburban New York girl at a private school that’s really a cover for a secret anti-terrorist mutant taskforce in the heyday of the Kennedy administration.